I have a constant deer in the headlights look. I can't hear anything anyone says- it swirls around in front of me and I catch bits and pieces of the conversation. It's like having superactive ADHD and to be floating on air at the same time. It's a general sencse of heightened energy. The twinkle in my eyes is a raging fire of deviousness as I prepare to embark on this next chapter of life.
I'm about to officially jump off the cliff into the unknown world of earth wandering- something I've dreamed of doing for years. Finally it's the moment in time for it. A whirlwind of energy rushes through my body day and night as I prepare to experience life with only a small green pack on my back and my open eyes and mind as my travel companions.
Making reservations for my arrival in Bangkok was unlike any previous trip planning I've done. Rather than a sense of urgency - how to see as much as possible and waste no time- I have a sense of leisure about my travels. It's not a temporary escape from work this time. It's my personal study in cultures and people. I've been longing to return to school for a while. This time I've enrolled full time in the school of life, next may be a Master's in Public Health, but I can't commit to anything, only what I am doing in this moment.
Today I drove to work at our satellite campus then gave Ursula a ride back to the Olympic Pool, not before attempting to plow down three students in the parking lot (unsuccessfully). I drove straight from work to show the car to a few Canadian boys. I'd posted my car for sale yesterday. Within 24 hours, I was walking home with an envelope of cash and a few less keys. Simplification is happening once again. It is good.
There's a factor of fear in setting off on this adventure, which I can talk myself through without much effort. The openness of life is actually a feeling of great peace.