tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-66765290066680684192024-03-13T12:31:29.473-07:00inspired adventurerin order for a seed to grow, it must first burst its shell of limitations.Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08912250240558051399noreply@blogger.comBlogger928125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676529006668068419.post-49043993243023148582018-08-21T13:33:00.001-07:002018-08-21T13:33:08.108-07:00Three Years OldJust three years ago, Lauren and Keith were two little babies kicking around in my stomach. I used to call it "moving furniture." I don't know why, but I imagined their little bodies inside me doing all sorts of stretchy moves. Who would have ever imagined those two would come out in the end?<br />
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When I was pregnant I didn't have much in mind about what they were going to look like, but I sort of thought my son would look like me and my daughter would look like Justin. I was totally wrong on that, the first of many things.<br />
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The pregnancy was the most difficult things I'd done, but everyone told me having two newborns would be worse, that I should sleep as much as possible before they came. Which was an oxymoron, because all night starting about 9PM, the last month of the pregnancy, I was up with contractions. Once the babies came, I could sleep again. I could breathe, sit up and even eat! It was amazing and instantly happened once I delivered them. Letting almost 14 pounds of baby out of my body along with all the amniotic fluid and two placentas felt so freeing. I was getting more sleep than before, despite having two newborns who were up all hours of the night.<br />
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Everyone said I'd feel sad and empty that they weren't inside me anymore. But I don't remember feeling that way. The two of them were so magical from the minute we brought them home. The first nap, we'd set them down in the crib, a foot apart, only to find them later sleeping face to face, nose to nose. One rolled over, the other rolled over. They slept touching always, connected in a way that I would never feel with anyone else. They seemed like an old married couple, the way they moved. Like two souls who'd known each other forever, much longer than the 37 weeks I'd carried them.<br />
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I never wanted twins. I never wanted to be a twin. I thought it would be awful, that you wouldn't be treated as an individual, but instead, "the twins." Like a unit, like no one would know your name. Independence was perhaps my most valued character trait. I think I was wrong there too. It helps that my twins aren't identical, it gives them more separation.<br />
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I've watched Keith and Lauren, how they learn together, from each other. Most of their milestones are days apart. How they keep each other in check, how they play together. Even how they hit each other when one is acting up. Little spats, like a quick loud cat fight. They enter new places, new schools with ease, having each other to ease them into whatever new activity has come up.<br />
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It took me until they were two to see the virtue of having a twin. When we were growing up, Carrie and I often went on the church ski trip or trip to the Canadian-American Peace Gardens in North Dakota. My mom always had to fudge one of our ages so we could go together- they were in 2 year age segments, and I was three years older. I never minded lying a little so I could have my sister along. Actually, when she came on the bus with me, I loved it too, we always sat together and skied together. I think I would have loved having a twin. I didn't realize that til now, but I would have loved having Carrie with me more than I even had.<br />
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I've also gotten to see gender differences. Having had only sisters, when I found out I was having a boy, I quickly called my friend Lourdes and asked her, "How do I change his diaper?" and "How would I know if he had a penis infection or something? She said, "You'll know." and "It's easier to clean him up than a girl." I was relieved and figured I could handle a son. Her son was her easy child and her daughter was her more spirited one, so she convinced me that he would be easy. Turns out her daughter and my son are more alike and my daughter and her son, but it still helps to talk to her.<br />
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So three years ago, I was one hour from meeting Lauren and Keith. That day was filled with trepidation and excitement, hopefulness and wonder. I imagined a lot of things, but I underestimated how amazing it would be like to have children. Sure, we've spent days and months very stressed out and tired, but the small things add up. Keith doctoring his babies and putting his chickens to sleep, Lauren taking me on an elevator ride in the hallway and an airplane ride to Carolina on the couch. Reading thousands of books, walking to the store. The years are slipping by... first we went in a stroller and then with harnesses and now everyone walking on their own.<br />
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The air outside is hazy and thick with smoke, fires all around us, reminding me of my mortality and wondering if I should've brought children into this messed up world. At night, I think about what more can I do? Could I change careers? Could I make more of a difference? What will happen to this planet? Morning comes and I start my day again with the twins. They give me a reason to live, motivation to to better, and a hope for the future.<br />
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Three years old today. Cheers to many many more years, I hope.Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08912250240558051399noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676529006668068419.post-27400968997752127752016-08-10T20:45:00.003-07:002016-08-10T22:46:16.657-07:00~Forgot The Tent!~ (Twins' 1st Camping Adventure)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I'd signed out for August 2nd off, which gave us a five day weekend. Plenty of time to get out of town. Justin and I, having almost completely eschewed planning now since we were graced with two babies at the same time, hadn't had anything planned and the five day weekend had started. <br />
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Sitting in the living room in the evening after the babies were down, I said, "Should we try to go camping?" <br />
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"Yeah, why not?" Justin said. <br />
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Thinking of our new sign on the backdoor, that says: <i>Replace Fear of the Unknown with Curiosity</i>, I said, "Well even if it goes bad, it'll be a good story." I'm always in favor of a good story. This thought got me through many misadventures while traveling.<br />
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Our planning involved finding a regional park about forty minutes from home in case we needed to pack up and go home in the middle of the night. Oxbow Regional Park, situated on the Sandy River. No animals. No alcohol. Gates closed from sunset to sunrise. Sounded perfect. <br />
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A friend kindly dropped off a massive tent for us to try. I set it up in the backyard to air out. I hadn't been in a tent big enough to stand in for years. My mom and Chuck delivered the kids' Pack N Plays. We set everything outside. Justin loaded the car. The tent had a hole in one side, all of us were outside inspecting and decided we should apply a little duct tape to it before leaving. We took out the poles and packed them up. <br />
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Carrie came over and we loaded the twins into her car. I checked Justin's car to make sure we had everything. Seemed like we were ready. <br />
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We took off. <br />
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After arriving at the park, we looped around twice, looking for a site that was big enough to pitch a small two-man backpacking tent and one giant 6-8 person tent and yet appeared to be private enough. <br />
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We found one, settled in, pitched Carrie's little tent and set out for a walk. Just as we were about to leave, Justin pulled up. He started unpacking the trunk. <br />
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"Did you pack the tent?" He asked. <br />
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"You're kidding right?" I said. <br />
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"No." <br />
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"Oh shit! What are we going to do?"<br />
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We hmmed and hawed and decided that it wasn't worth driving back home in traffic to get the tent. It would be 1-2 hours round trip in traffic.<br />
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Justin would sleep in the back of the Suburu. Carrie would sleep under the day tent (essentially outside). "I've always wanted to sleep outside," she said. And the babies and I would pile into the little tent. <br />
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We blew up the air mattress thinking it would fit in the small tent. It blew itself right out the door. <br />
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Plan B: Pack N Play mattresses on the floor of the tent. Fit perfect (covered the top half where the babies would sleep).<br />
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We let the kids down to play in the campsite. Covered in black dirt from head to toe, the babies looked like they were homeless, but happy. <br />
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Carrie had brought all the food, and cooked at the campsite for us. Zucchini pancakes, leftover curry and salmon enchiladas. The babies had some food I'd made at home: coconut carrot soup, pumpkin pancakes and apple slices. <br />
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After dinner, Justin and I headed off for the free hot showers with the babies. Keith and Lauren loved the showers. I did one at a time and traded with daddy. We loaded them back up in the Twingo and he showered and returned to our site a few minutes later. <br />
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We tried to have them sleep in the Pack N Plays outside, which worked great for Lauren, not so much for Keith. I finally remembered that I could nurse him laying down so we crawled in the tent; he was asleep in minutes. <br />
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Carrie and Justin had built a fire while I was nursing. The three of us sat around it making s'mores and talking. All tired, we tucked ourselves in at about ten o'clock. <br />
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We were all worried about getting cold; it's been in the fifties overnight. I'd dressed the babies in a cotton pj, fleece pj and then a fleece sleep sack. All of us had extra blankets. <br />
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Everyone got hot. Except the babies. They had the right amount on. They slept all night- just a little nursing when I moved them around. I woke up several times to a numb arm, or to check to make sure they were breathing and in a safe place. Keith has a tendency to move a lot so I'd find him scooted up to the top edge of the tent. It's better to keep him next to me and Lauren on the far side. He's more stable when I'm nearby. <br />
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The night went amazing and at 7:30, both babies woke up smiling and excited. We played around inside the tent for a while. I didn't think anyone was up yet. I heard Carrie's sleeping bag rustle. Then some talking. Justin had gotten up at 7. There had been a fawn in our campsite and he'd taken pictures. She was right by our little tent. Maybe she knew there were babies inside too. <br />
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"Let's not get them dirty this morning." We declared, regarding Keith and Lauren. <br />
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A while later, Keith was riding the skateboard, Lauren pushing her walker through the dirt. Not much later, he was crawling around. Cleanliness is less important than having fun. Washing machines were made for this purpose. <br />
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Check out was by 1pm. We stayed until about noon. <br />
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Justin loaded up most of the stuff. We loaded the babies. We'd decided to stop in the outlet mall on the way home. Planning for a quick stop, we did great until we hit the Gap. We'd tried on a few things (I always get their tank tops and most of my had lost their elastic after five years of wear.) The kids in the handicapped stall worked great because the doors go to the floor. No escapees.<br />
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Carrie got a swimming suit. <br />
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On the way out of the dressing room, I saw "Sexy Bootcut Jeans, $16.99." "I wonder if those would fit me?" I asked.<br />
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Wearing both babies in the Twingo, I trudged back to the stall to try them on. I'd picked a size too big, and sized down. They seemed to fit. I decided I should have two pairs, since the last time I was shopping was before I was pregnant. At home I only had one pair of jeans that fit. And they were from 2011 and I was constantly pulling them up. Sweating and anxious, I just wanted to get out of there. I decided I needed to try them on without the kids on me. So I freed the little natives. It took about 30 seconds for them to escape out the bottom of the door, one by one. A twin gong show for sure. <br />
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"Careful: Baby Crossing!" A Russian lady declared. "Do you need some help" She asked.<br />
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"Thanks, but my sister is right there." I said, as Carrie approached.<br />
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I got what I needed and we checked out. All our goods stuffed in one bag. I'd gotten a few things for the kids for next summer. Almost all their clothes are hand-me-downs, but I'd found some cute soft things in orange and aqua and decided it was okay to buy them.<br />
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Carrie and I loaded the kids up and headed down I-84. Several miles down the road she said, "I hope she didn't give me the size medium top in that suit. Maybe you better check." <br />
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As soon as she said that, I thought, I don't recall seeing the bag in the back seat. <br />
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I started pulling things out behind me, "We left it in the parking lot!" Frantically thinking how I would not get another pair of jeans for at least another year. Thinking how I had never even bought the kids any new clothes hardly and now that I had I forgot the whole damn bag in the parking lot. <br />
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"Call the Pendelton store." Carrie said. "We parked right in front of them."<br />
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I rang them up. "Oh yep, we saw your bag. We were about to go out and get it but a man picked it up and took it to Carter's. I think it got run over."<br />
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I called Carter's and our bag was there. We turned around at the next exit which was about five miles away since we were on I-84, which has few exits. We got back, picked up our bag and went home.<br />
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Good people are everywhere.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Nope, couldn't stuff it in there. </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Keith loves Auntie</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">He's a fast baby! </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Carrie was the official cook of the trip</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Justin's fancy chair that a company sent him as a gift.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Vanna displays the campsite with only one tent.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Getting the babies to sleep</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Carrie's outdoor bed. She's a trooper.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">how we slept</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">better to keep keith next to me</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-sE3IqawpHy4/V6u_hsis16I/AAAAAAAAQOU/AYNCeuJ1QfMdBVrxY-ln243ydZiHfMF0QCLcB/s1600/IMG_3364.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-sE3IqawpHy4/V6u_hsis16I/AAAAAAAAQOU/AYNCeuJ1QfMdBVrxY-ln243ydZiHfMF0QCLcB/s320/IMG_3364.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This was before they started smiling a ton. They were so happy. </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Morning nap</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">the little fawn in our campsite before we woke up</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-GD8wpthP420/V6tbITvAdDI/AAAAAAAAQNY/zaPAixdKVcg6jQeIVV0E24UXrsSIA6Y4ACLcB/s1600/IMG_4794.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-GD8wpthP420/V6tbITvAdDI/AAAAAAAAQNY/zaPAixdKVcg6jQeIVV0E24UXrsSIA6Y4ACLcB/s320/IMG_4794.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">on our way out of the park</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">the ran over bag retrieved. ;)</td></tr>
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<br />Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08912250240558051399noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676529006668068419.post-47000478768766738742016-07-07T12:40:00.002-07:002016-07-07T12:40:24.953-07:00What I take for Granted. Yesterday I loaded up my twins in our shiny orange bike trailer. To the doctor's office, for lunch at the grocery store, then the hardware store, the park, then home. (Don't fret, it was a round trip and not that far overall.) <br />
<br /><br />
It was joy and light and color and happiness all day.<br />
<br /><br />
I never once thought about my cloak of invisibility. <br />
<br /><br />
I am white. <br />
<br /><br />
My children are not at risk because of their race. <br />
<br /><br />
In fact, they can go many places without question because of it. <br />
<br /><br />
I sit here with a hole in my stomach thinking about the men who were taken away yesterday. From their children, their partners, their moms.<br />
<br /><br />
Because of race.<br />
<br /><br />
I don't understand. I can't understand. <br />
<br /><br />
I remember walking into a fancy designer store in Asia after months of living out of my backpack, wearing one of the few shirts I owned and one of the bottoms carried. I'm certain I smelled a bit, hair was uncombed. Yet no one said a word to me as I entered. Not everyone was allowed in. While traveling where I was the white minority, I knew I could go anywhere because of it and I was safer because if it as well. <br />
<br /><br />
We have several African American neighbors. All walks of life. One family is well-off, has a boat and nice cars. One is scraping by unable to get a job after losing hers in her sixties, but is so sweet and loving. My kids love her. Another is an old man in his eighties who doesn't even know his real last name but still mows his own yard and has three cars that are older than me. One still runs. Another family lives in the rental up the street. They are newer to the neighborhood. <br />
<br /><br />
I think about them. What are they feeling? I want to ask. I'm afraid to ask.<br />
<br /><br />
How can we fix it?<br />
<br /><br />
We still are mostly white. We still are mostly insulated<br />
<br /><br />
The color and happiness I felt yesterday were real. But I live in a bubble. <br />
<br /><br />
Last night, I watched a video of my friends who has beautiful twin boys. Trying on their new green rain jackets. Trying out the word Jacket. They prance around, sweet and unassuming. The only difference between them and my twins is the color of their skin. The innocence, the curiosity- they are the same. One looks like his mother, one like his father. <br />
<br /><br />
We must do something. We must do something.<br />
<br /><br />
<br /><br />
<br />Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08912250240558051399noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676529006668068419.post-57323100002746640892016-06-21T14:25:00.001-07:002016-06-21T14:25:08.044-07:00Father's Day 2016<b style="font-weight: normal;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.66px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Father’s day was just two days ago. Today, I spent some time reading articles that others had written about their dads who taught them that life was tentative, not to hold on too tightly, to continue moving forward stoically in the face of loss and danger. The described fathers who were strong and deliberate and non-emotional, those who taught you to pay your bills on time, and to not over-discuss things. I could not relate. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.66px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">None of them sounded like my dad. My dad, who I remember giving me whisker rubs. Who cooked dinner in the kitchen. Whose laughter filled the air of whatever space he occupied. Hearing it, you’d know there was a grin across the majority of his face. My mom said he had all thirty-two of his teeth, even the wisdom teeth. I thought, he needed them all for that sparkling smile. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.66px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I’m busy these days with my own two little ten-month-olds, finally understanding the joy that raising children can bring. At times, it’s exhausting and overwhelming, but even then it feels like the greatest gift I’ve ever been given. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.66px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Last night we put the babies in the crib. They weren’t tired, so I was singing them Edelweiss. Justin came in and talked to them, “It’s time to sleep little bunnies. Lay your heads down.” His voice soft and gentle and deliberate, reminded me of my dad’s voice. Keith and Lauren bobbed around in their cribs smiling and sleepy at the same time. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.66px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I sat in the chair and rocked and read my emails while they settled down. They eventually put themselves to sleep. No crying. Comfort at my presence. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.66px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I remember my dad sitting in the corner of our bedroom, in the blue and red painted chair. Telling us stories in the dark. Knowing he was there, I felt safe. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.66px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.66px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.66px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">We are raising our kids in a home with quiet and music and parents who are always there. We are hoping to give them the boring, stable life that Justin and I both missed out on for different reasons. It’s a work in progress but we’re on our way.</span></span></div>
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</b><br />Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08912250240558051399noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676529006668068419.post-8617909217291975632016-06-14T22:36:00.000-07:002016-06-17T22:37:12.207-07:00June 14th: I Turned Forty<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div>
Every day, I
have patients complain to me about getting older. I don't say anything
but inside I'm thinking a slew of thoughts that I'd like to let
loose. Namely, that there's a lot of people out there who'd love to
be living but are no longer with us. Life is living and part of it is getting older, if you're lucky to make it.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
So
welcome, forty. I take you in with honor for letting me stroll along the
corners of this green planet since the bicentennial of the United
States. Thank you for blessing me with children late in my life, the
double whammy that I could've never dreamed of. Thank you for the grey
worry streak in my hair that showed up when I was twenty-four, becoming more
dense with each passing year, a gorgeous silver highlight crowning my
passing years, undisguised by hairdye. </div>
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<br /></div>
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The crinkles starting at the
corner of my eyes- imperfect skin yet bright shining eyes, pools of
growing wisdom as my life experience mounts. Thank you for all this. I
look forward to more grey and less smooth skin. More living, less
perfection. </div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fCIWPJQM4w8/V2TdFktWFlI/AAAAAAAAQHY/qsoeRvugNoM0VEHzPF66PDqX78-WRFjFgCK4B/s1600/IMG_2106.JPG" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="214" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fCIWPJQM4w8/V2TdFktWFlI/AAAAAAAAQHY/qsoeRvugNoM0VEHzPF66PDqX78-WRFjFgCK4B/s320/IMG_2106.JPG" width="320" /></a><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dWuETLFpjgc/V2TdHJhBajI/AAAAAAAAQHg/aePBfCZq-EIm0gTS04xiR0bud8flGG2pACK4B/s1600/IMG_2111.JPG" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dWuETLFpjgc/V2TdHJhBajI/AAAAAAAAQHg/aePBfCZq-EIm0gTS04xiR0bud8flGG2pACK4B/s320/IMG_2111.JPG" width="320" /></a> </div>
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Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08912250240558051399noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676529006668068419.post-10517594067786692672015-12-29T21:02:00.003-08:002015-12-29T22:47:45.754-08:004 Months: The Eve of The End of Maternity Leave<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Tonight it's quiet. You both went to sleep in a matter of minutes after I set you down.<br />
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I'm getting ready to go back to work. I laid out my outfit yesterday. I made a list of instructions for Justin and Margaret for tomorrow. Thursday you'll try out daycare. I'm excited for adult interaction but I can't help but have some tears slipping out at the thought of leaving you guys.<br />
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I love you so much.<br />
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I know it will be okay.<br />
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I can't believe a year ago, you were just two little starts in my tummy. I didn't even know you were there yet. What magic I had in store. I had no idea and never would've dreamed of you both.<br />
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I've treasured this time with you and I'm thankful that Kaiser was so generous to let me take off eighteen weeks instead of just twelve.<br />
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Keith, tonight you cried in the crib a while until I finished nursing Lauren. After she was by your side within a few minutes you calmed down and let your eyes finally sink shut. You're a gentle spirit with big hands that you love to intertwine together on your tummy or place over your sister's littler hands. You laugh all the time and every square inch of you is ticklish. Even under your neck. You love being thrown up into the air. You squeal with delight and chatter when you wake up or are laying in the living room in your diapers only. You love laying your head on my left shoulder and walking around with one arm around my arm and one hanging down next to me. You're so happy when you're happy. Your smile lights up the room and your eyes twinkle with mirth. You love our funny faces. You're a big boy and so sweet. You love to sit in my lap when I'm cross-legged on the floor. You are so strong it's crazy - you've been like that since birth.<br />
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Lauren, you love to be with and touch your big brother. Your hand is on his shoulder, or his thigh or his head, or arm anytime you're within reach. You smile all the time even when we least expect it. You love looking at people and taking in the world around you. You're such a little observer, we think you understand everything. You've started sucking your thumb and can calm yourself down. You've slept 11 hours straight! This morning you rolled over. Your legs are so strong you can almost stand up. When we make funny faces you think it's hilarious and you laugh when I do patty cake with you. You click your tongue and love it when we make quirky mouth noises. Recently you started talking like a crazy lady. When your brother cries, you often start to coo and turn your head toward him like you're trying to tell him, "It's okay." You love to lay on my chest with your head under my chin. You wrap your little hand around my back when you're nursing and hold on with the other around the front. You are such a little sweetheart.<br />
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In the mornings you guys wake up together in the crib, talking and squealing and cooing. I wander in after about fifteen minutes. You smile and smile- so happy to see me. Even if I'm tired, I can push it aside in a second after seeing your faces, so sweet and sunny and happy. It's my favorite time of day.<br />
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With sunlight streaming through the windows, we get up and play on the floor and change diapers and then nurse or maybe read a book in the rocking chair. You play for a while and then take a nap in the crib after an hour or two. The nap doesn't always go well, but we're working on it.<br />
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These last four months have been an unimaginable journey. The glimpses I've gotten into your twin universe melt my heart and I know I'll never fully understand your special connection. I hope it's something that carries you both along as you make your way through this bumpy path that is life. I know there'll be times when you get mad at each other but I hope your love will connect you always.<br />
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You are growing up and I am growing with you.<br />
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<br />Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08912250240558051399noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676529006668068419.post-15812400419713396022015-11-27T16:59:00.003-08:002015-11-27T17:58:02.249-08:00Limping Through Month Three<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Three months exactly in this photo</div>
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There appears to be a wave frequency to this twin thing. One month good, one month not so good. Month three was the month of every 1-2 hour feedings all night. Tired days and tired nights. Wondering when they would go back to the 3-6 hour sleep stretches. Which finally returned about one week ago. Then we all got sick this week.<br />
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Breastfeeding marches on, with my persistence leading the way. I can't say this has been easy either, other than I have excellent supply and babies have been good nursers. I experienced the plugged milk duct last month (severely painful, so that you're crying when breastfeeding), and have had sore nipples and a fissure on my left side, which I'm still working to heal. It's been about two months of problems with the left side. I'm ready to be done with the problems. But I'm not hopeful that it's going to be easy. I've been working with the lactation consultants and trying everything to get the fissure healed, but so far no luck.<br />
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What twins do to your body: they split your abdominal muscles (called diastasis). I thought maybe I'd gotten away without diastasis. But I went in for a check last week and have a three and a half finger separation between the sides of my ab muscles. Which means I have to be very careful not to worsen it, and I need to do exercises to encourage them to return to their previous position. Otherwise your stomach pooches out by the end of the day, hence the "are you expecting?" questions. I have a 40 minute DVD routine to do but it's almost impossible to find time to do it. So I'm seeing a PT for some exercises next month, hopefully that I can slip in here and there.<br />
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The babies. They are pretty darn good. The mild evening fussiness like most infants. Still pretty easy to soothe. Some quite desperate reliance on walks most afternoons- although the last week at least 2/4 of us have been sick at any given time, so we have been practicing naps at home, and they are going pretty good. I can get a lot more done at home than on a walk.<br />
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These two are overall good little buggers. They're smiling and really into the world around them. They love being talked to and carried around. We can make funny faces at them and they're amused. We're all still learning how to be with each other. They've started enjoying the swing. They can grab and bat at things with their hands. Keith laughs a lot.<br />
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We're in the process of hiring a nanny as well, and that's a big job- trying to decide who to entrust with your children's care. I'd thought about doing a daycare but it seems like it would be so much work to get them ready to go every day that I'm going to work (we were going to put them by my work so I could nurse at lunch.) They might end up in daycare after a while but hopefully we can keep them out of it for the first year.<br />
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Oh, and this week Keith has started rejecting the bottle. I am hoping that we can get this turned around, as the timing is rather inopportune with me headed back to work in a month.<br />
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Twins. Twins. Twins. I think that everyone experiences what I'm experiencing but I think it's on a larger scale with two infants. Somedays I think I cannot make it through. And then it will get better and I'll think, "I'm getting the hang of it." I guess that's how it goes. One foot in front of the other.<br />
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The thing is that all of this is worth it. What I love best about having my kids is how my focus is redirected from me and my world, to them and their world. My whole purpose for living is different now. The small thing of getting up in the morning and the two of them smiling in unison on the bed while I talk to them and laughing while I make funny faces. When they fall asleep after breastfeeding. Figuring out what was making them cry and seeing their relief when it's fixed. Playing on the changing table. The simple things that make up life with infants.<br />
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The happiest discovery is that I run a bath and take one kid in at a time. Keith loves to "swim" in the water, kicking with a determined look on his face, smiling and laughing. Lauren lounges on my tummy, feet and hands dangling. The first time we did this, she kept turning her head sideways, trying to drink the water, with her eyes open as she did this (didn't seem to care that her open eye was in the water). They both love to stare up at the shower head and the black and white walls of the tub. I'd guess the bathtub is like the womb for them, and they seem to love it now. I cherish that time with them. It's so sweet. And will be gone before I know it, like so many things that have already passed.<br />
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Naps at home.</div>
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Watching mommy make the bed!I put her on a pillow and she liked it!</div>
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Sweet Keith loves to cuddle mommy.</div>
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Miss Lauren has incredible attention powers, and was looking at this lamb for about 30 minutes.</div>
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He has little kid hands! Since birth. Big hands and feet!</div>
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Thanksgiving day frost</div>
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I had to walk outside to see if it was frost or snow.</div>
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Zonked out today! :) </div>
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<br />Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08912250240558051399noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676529006668068419.post-42403530867024395612015-10-22T11:16:00.000-07:002015-10-22T11:40:16.300-07:00Two Months with Twins- It's Much Better Than I Expected<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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2 mos check up & shots 10/21/15:<br />
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Keith<br />
weight: 11 lbs. 7 oz. 29th percentile<br />
height: 24" 90th percentile<br />
head circum.: 15.25" 36th percentile.<br />
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Lauren<br />
weight: 8 lbs. 15 oz. 4th percentile<br />
height: 22.25" 40th percentile<br />
head circum.: 14.5" 12th percentile.<br />
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It's been two months since we welcomed these little people into our world. It feels like forever ago and yesterday. Today I looked back at photos taken while I was still pregnant and then when we first met Mister Keith and Miss Lauren. They were so puffy at birth it was hard to tell them apart. It's hard to believe that since they look so different.<br />
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People ask how it is having twins.<br />
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I think it's a lot easier than I thought it would be. Having read too many books on twins, my expectations were pretty horribly low for the first year. They made it sound like I'd be getting 1-2 hours of sleep a night, have difficulty with breastfeeding and supply, and that I'd need to enlist family or hired help for 3-6 months. There was also a lot of advice about putting your kids on the same schedule, starting at birth and doing everything simultaneously. They advised to wake the second twin every time you fed to keep them on the same schedule and tandem feed. <br />
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All of that may have been true and useful for other moms, but all it did was serve to scare the crap out of me about having two infants. The books made me feel like I needed to line up family help to make it through each day, and even then it would surely be a hell that I'd have to wade through in order to get to the other side. Maybe when they were one or two or three it would get better.<br />
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The first two weeks with them were pretty easy. Our biggest concern was if we should wake them from their naps or not and when. Week three hit and it was what the twins books said it would be. It went terrible. I was up all night several times. Days were challenging. I couldn't get any sleep. I panicked and desperately posted on multiple forums, looking for help and advice. One twin mom sent me a PDF of her book on twins and it had some good advice. It said, "Don't wake the sleeping twin when the other one wakes to feed, otherwise you're just training them to sleep the shortest time." And to stop changing diapers every time they feed. I did that, and we moved the babies into our room and into separate Rock N Plays. When they'd wake up we'd rock them a little to get them back to sleep if we could so they wouldn't be up all night trying to eat. This taught them to sleep longer. I stopped turning on any light and only nursed by phone light to get them attached. I'd burp them sitting up on my leg mostly just rubbing their back instead of slapping it. And then plop them back into their Rock N Plays. Life improved dramatically.<br />
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It's been five weeks since then, and not one of the weeks was worse than any other. There's been nights where one only woke up once or not at all, and nights where they were getting up every 1-2 hours. But overall, I'd say they're getting up about three times/night. I go to bed about 9:30 and get up about 7:30AM. I'd guess I'm getting about 7-8 hours of sleep per night. I also don't keep track of how many hours I slept anymore either. That just feeds the fury of sleep deprivation on a bad night. It's better to just move on and assume the next night won't be as bad because it almost never is.<br />
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A typical day we wake up at about 7:30 and get new diapers and clothes. The three of us move to the living room for playtime and tummy time for about two hours. Daddy wakes up and comes out to play (he stays up later and does the last diaper change and puts them in a swaddle before I feed them whenever they last wake up at night between 12-2.) We all listen to some music, make coffee and have some breakfast. Then the little guys often fall asleep on us. Sometimes we put them in their beds. Sometimes not.<br />
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Later between 11-1, we'll pile the little guys into the BOB stroller and I'll stroll them around town for a couple hours. It's a good way to get out of the house and have fresh air. And good for me to get little errands done. This week we walked to the bakery for bread and met friends, walked to the Albina library to drop off books, and walked up and down Alberta doing other errands. Every day i have a little something to do and we just set off on foot to do it. Much better than being in the car, and we have several months to go before they can try out the bike trailer.<br />
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Evenings are more challenging, and we definitely need two people to take care of them. There's more fussing especially Lauren and some crazy body movements and noises especially Keith. We have to do a lot of cuddling at night to keep the house quiet. But, so far we've been fortunate that both babes are not too hard to soothe. If things go south we always could pull out the midnight family car ride but that's only happened once so far. <br />
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So twins are hard work, and there's a lot of multitasking, breastfeeding in public and showing people your nipples inadvertently or not. It requires a lot of patience to have two infants, and I'm constantly are giving part of myself. But it's really not that bad at all. In fact, I'm really enjoying it.<br />
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this song always reminds me of my dad.</div>
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Keith makes so many funny faces. We could never capture them all.</div>
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Whoops we lightly rubbed Lauren's cradle cap and made some scabs on her face. :( They're almost cleared up now though. It won't be the first parenting mistake we make.</div>
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Keith falls asleep during tummy time most days. He looks so sweet curled up.</div>
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After their shots, we snuggled them all night. Here they were sleeping on mommy.</div>
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Lauren nursing- she's so funny with her hands.</div>
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Snuggling with daddy after shots</div>
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<br />Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08912250240558051399noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676529006668068419.post-22405061880597743302015-10-02T10:56:00.000-07:002015-10-02T13:40:56.355-07:00Motherhood: 6 Weeks"A mother's body against a child's body makes a place. It says you are here. Without this body against your body there is no place. I envy people who miss their mother. Or miss a place or know something called home." - Eve Ensler, In the Body of the World.<br />
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Silent but for the birds squawking outside and a hush of a breath from sweet Lauren cozied up in my lap, sleepy after her morning breakfast. Keith is back in the bedroom, secure in his rock and play bassinet that we keep next to our bed. He was the early riser today and snuggled into my arms while I ate two bowls of peanut butter cereal for breakfast. We looked out the window at the park. I'm an expert at making an Americano with a baby in my arms. (And picking up and holding two babies in any order, in any location, for any reason.)<br />
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Both of you are becoming more alert. You self-entertain so well, laying on the floor for an hour or two each day together or alone, depending on your moods. Mostly steering your eyes around the room, looking in wonder (I think) at the standard objects that populate our tiny house. Often it's the fan on the ceiling (yes it needs cleaning, little ones!) or the pictures on the way (that is your crazy grandma Kathy standing with the bearded men in the tutus).<br />
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Occasionally a smile escapes your little mouths that appears to be reactionary, but as of yet, I don't think you really know how to control it. Laughter and smiles punctuate the breathing noises of a good nap. I wonder if you are dreaming of milk or mommy or daddy or what. If only I could know what you think. I can't help but wonder what the future brings when we can share words.<br />
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We're fortunate for now-you're both pretty easy to soothe and sweet little babies. When things seem most out of control, I'll wrap you both in a little fleece blanket and pile you into my arms together. The three of us as one again, and you both quiet right down. Mommy's getting very strong arms these days.<br />
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Mornings are my favorite. After a night of sleep (no matter how little), the delusions of exhaustion depart from my system, and I'm able to start anew a day of drifting around with my little ones. It's a full time job, fulfilling for at least 95% of the time, only in the evening when I'm tired and patience is waning that I wish for some reprieve.<br />
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Often I think, "I can't believe I have two infants." But then I can't imagine not having one of you. All those years where I proclaimed I didn't want children, and now here I am with you two little sweet peas. I never knew what I thought I didn't want would be so good.<br />
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So six weeks down, and twelve weeks to go on my maternity leave. I'm thankful we're only at the one-third mark and not the halfway mark into the leave. I don't want to think about going back to work and leaving you at home with someone else. But for two or three days a week, I can do it. It might even make me a better mama.<br />
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"Super mama," people call me when I'm out and about with the two of you alone. Almost every day we go for a one to two hour stroller ride, to the grocery store or Extracto coffee. Sometimes it's in the car to the doctor or Target. I don't feel super or better or anything. I'm just doing what I have to do, and what I love to do. Which is to take care of and love you as much as I can. We are having a great time together, the three of us. Those mamas who have more kids than me or twins and other kids, they seem like the ones who need a reward. But I appreciate the kudos- it lifts me up.<br />
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So six weeks you've been here with us. What a delight it's been (except for week three which was pretty tough!) I'm so happy you were freed from my tummy so we could meet and grow together.<br />
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The little Charlies are breaking free</div>
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Grandma Kathy's sleepsacks make them insta sleepy</div>
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Dressed like twins for once</div>
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Waiting for a feeding, little sweetie fell asleep</div>
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Snuggling Keith (his favorite position)</div>
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Tummy time</div>
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This is what it's like to shop at Target without the double stroller. Not bad.</div>
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Funny babies!</div>
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Snuggling Lauren (her favorite position)</div>
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<br />Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08912250240558051399noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676529006668068419.post-60180165894016803112015-09-12T10:18:00.000-07:002015-09-13T09:30:39.708-07:00The Birth Story of Keith & LaurenAugust 21st, 2015 - the day you entered this world.<br />
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Before you came! </div>
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What an amazing new adventure to welcome you guys into the world!</div>
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Several weeks before delivery, we discovered I'd developed cholestasis (bile spilling into the bloodstream), which meant we had to have an earlier delivery than initially planned. At the 36 week appointment, Dr. Brass told me that I should schedule a c-section and to pick a date. Keith was breech and had been the whole pregnancy except the month of March. I never wanted to have a planned c-section. I wanted a natural vaginal birth. But it wasn't meant to be. I didn't want to fight the universe and force something to happen.<br />
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Not that I didn't try to get you to flip. I did all sorts of things. Inversions. Chiropractor. Acupuncture. Yoga poses. Headstands in the swimming pool. Nothing worked, but the best thing to come of that was that I made a reconnection with the swimming pool, and I can't wait to take you guys there when you're big enough.<br />
We thought about dates and asked for the 18th or 20th (mommy likes even numbers). Both were full. They booked us for the 21st. I decided it was better that way. I didn't choose the date. Someone else did, and I never wanted to pick my baby's birthday anyway. After I thought about it, it seemed like the 21st was the right day. It was 4 months from Grandma Kathy's Birthday (on April 21) and went with mine and daddy's well. We are born on the 7th, the 14th and now you on the 21st. Definitely the right day. And, no one in either of our families shares your birthday. There's a ton of relatives with special days in August, so it was pretty neat you guys got your own day.<br />
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They scheduled the c-section and told us to arrive at 8:30AM for prep and likely surgery would be about 10-10:30AM so that was when you'd arrive! I was so excited to meet you guys. But I was also really nervous that we might be taking you too soon. I didn't want anything to happen to you. I also didn't want to wait too long to take you out for the same reason. It was hard for me not to worry too much about you guys. I felt like I wanted to go in every day and make sure you were okay. I was so full up with you guys that I couldn't really sit or breathe or eat or anything. I just had to lay down. It was really hard at the end.<br />
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The morning of the big day, I was up early toodling around the house, cleaning up stuff and getting ready. I couldn't eat after midnight, so there was no yummy breakfast to start the day. Just me walking around in expectation. And a little writing in my journal.<br />
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At 7:30AM, I called the hospital to check if I was supposed to come in as scheduled. The nurse said there was a delay and she'd call me back at about 9:30-10:00AM after the morning huddle. So many people have babies in August, that it was really busy a lot of times at the hospital. At first I was a little disappointed that we were delayed, but then decided I'd finish a load of laundry, unload the dishwasher and other little things. We called auntie Carrie and grandma Kathy and told them we were on standby. They waited at Carrie's house.<br />
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At 10AM, the nurse called and said they were ready for us. I said we would be there in twenty minutes. It was time!<br />
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We hopped in the car, and left the carseats at home, thinking daddy would make it back to pick them up while we were in the hospital. Just around the corner, we pulled up at Carrie's house. We hopped out of the car, and decided we should take a few last pictures before the big belly went away. In front of Carrie's house under her big tree.<br />
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We arrived at the hospital at 10:45AM and checked in. Our nurse, a nice blonde lady,Tina, from labor and delivery showed up right away to get us down the hall to our room.<br />
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It was sunny and pretty outside that day. I didn't know what to feel about having a c-section or meeting you guys. It didn't really seem like it was really happening.<br />
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We got to the room and took some more photos. I was told to get into my hospital gown- a green and tan contraption that would've fit three of me. Tina came back and started getting some things ready and asking questions. I asked about delayed cord clamping and if my sister could come in too. (They said yes.) We also did microbiome transfer. The baby nurse said she would do it for me when you were born.<br />
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Our RN, Tina, told us Dr. Gutovitz would be doing the surgery. Originally we'd been scheduled with Dr. West. No one had ever heard of Dr. West so I was a little apprehensive about her. It seemed like a good thing that we'd been changed. Everyone said Dr. Gutovitz was awesome.<br />
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The anesthesiologist JD came in and went over everything with me. We were doing a spinal. He'd also inject morphine. He had kind eyes and seemed to really care. He went over everything carefully and made me feel taken care of. (Later, a day or so after you were born, he would stop into my room to see how you were doing. A kind man.)<br />
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Our doctor, Dr. Gutovitz, came in and met us. She was about my age (later in the OR she would tell us that her birthday was June 18th and one year off from mine.) She said she'd be happy to do delayed cord clamping and skip the erythromycin ointment.<br />
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By noon we were ready to go. It seemed like it was so fast. We were about to head to the OR.<br />
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Then our nurse Tina looked on the screen and said, "Looks like you might be waiting after all. There's a baby in distress." Another baby's heartbeat had gone from 150 to 40.<br />
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The excitement dissipated. We were in a waiting zone.<br />
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The four of us tried to console ourselves. I was starving, having fasted for about 14 hours at that point. The clock seemed to be at a standstill. How many more minutes before we could go back? I felt like going home and coming back another day. Dizzy from fasting, I laid in bed while everyone else was eating snacks and drinking. I drifted off for a nap.<br />
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The nurse came back and we asked to have my blood sugar checked. It was 65. They started me on a drip with sugar in it. I drifted back to sleep again after she left.<br />
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Finally about 1:45, she came back and said, "We're on! Do you want to walk to the OR or take a wheelchair?"<br />
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I walked with Carrie and Justin in tow in their scrubs and red hats.<br />
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It's hard to say what you feel when you're going for surgery. And you're going to meet your babies.<br />
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I just hoped you guys would be okay and we weren't bringing you into the world too early. Part of me wanted it over and part of me didn't want it to begin.<br />
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I hopped up on the OR table. A flurry of activity surrounded us. Nurses and doctors and assistants. Calling out orders and verifying that we were the right people and ready to welcome you to the world.<br />
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The anesthesiologist came in with his kind eyes and told me to sit up on the table. He felt my back to figure out where to insert the needle. Fear shot through me but I stared straight down. Not looking at anyone. Holding it in. First he numbed the area, then started the spinal. "You're deeper than I expected, being so slender." I was slender? At 37 weeks pregnant?<br />
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The spinal was over and not that bad. Tingling entered my legs. The anesthesiologist started checking me for sensation with a little piece of wood. The goal was to be numb to the breast or so. It was working.<br />
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They pulled up the blue drape in front of me. "Catheter's inserted." Someone said.<br />
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"Really? I didn't feel anything" I replied.<br />
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"That's the correct answer." A voice replied.<br />
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I laid there on the table. I was crying at that point, scared and wondering how it would go. Looking at Justin, he was crying too. We held hands and held it together. I squeezed him.<br />
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The OR staff was talking normally. Like they were having coffee or something. Asking us questions, chattering. It was a mini party.<br />
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I was listening carefully, waiting to hear you come into the world.<br />
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Then there was a scream. "Your little boy is here." Less than 30 seconds later, "And here's your little girl." The OR was filled with your screams, each of you trying to out do the other. No one could hear anyone else talking the OR. Relief flooded my body. Screaming was good I knew.<br />
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They held up Keith first. You were so big and dark hair! I couldn't believe it. You were my baby? The little one who sat so low like a buddha the whole pregnancy? "Seven pounds, twelve ounces!" I couldn't believe it.<br />
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Next was Lauren. Blonde hair, and so tiny. "Six pounds, two ounces!" No wonder you could still flip back and forth at the end of the pregnancy! I'd thought you would be six and seven pounds. I was about right on one at least.<br />
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Both of you all red. Still screaming and covered in vernix.<br />
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"I really made those two? I can't believe they're real." I thought. They had you under the baby warmers checking you out for healthiness. "Both got an APGAR of 9." I knew that was perfect.<br />
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A nurse came over and set little Lauren on my chest. You were crying and crying, all red and upset. The second you were on my chest, you were quiet. And then you crawled up my chest and put your little head under my chin. My sweet little Lauren.<br />
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Daddy stood next to me with little Keith in a swaddle. Carrie took pictures.<br />
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Such a surreal experience having two babies at once.<br />
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We sat around and chatted while they stitched me up. Taking pictures and sending out texts to family.<br />
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I saw my leg go out to the side. I couldn't feel anything, so I didn't know how it got there.<br />
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Finally finished, I was rolled the recovery room, which was much quieter and darker. No people. No chatter. The nurses there blanketed me and took my temp which was about 97. You guys were both low as well. They took Keith first to do some tests while Lauren was still on my chest. You crawled up and latched on for breastfeeding right away. Little tiny Lauren nursed for 35 minutes right after she entered the world. They switched babies, and Keith came over to me, and nursed just as well as his sister for maybe a little longer. Lauren went away and was tested while he was nursing.<br />
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For two hours we hung out in the recovery room while they fingerprinted your birth certificates and baby books and we all got ourselves back to normal temperatures. I could start to feel my legs again. What relief.<br />
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Then it was time to go to our room. We transferred beds and and both of you were placed with me as we rolled out of the recovery room to head up to the fourth floor.<br />
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On the way out we met an Asian family who'd just had twin girls. They were tiny dolls compared to my big babies. I felt proud of you guys. The other family looked bewildered. The mom was in a wheelchair, so she'd had a vaginal birth.<br />
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Once in our room, Grandma Kathy arrived, and met the two of you. She brought beautiful roses and a special carrot birthday cake for your big day. She also got me mango juice and lemonade.<br />
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We all loved you from the start. Both of you perfect and sweet.<br />
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The days that followed were a bit harrowing. The first morning after surgery, two nurses came in and checked my blood pressure while laying, sitting and standing. When I stood it was 65/23. I was blacking out, about to pass out. I could only lay in bed the first two days. By the second evening, I made myself sit up to pump for you guys. I was borderline for needing a blood transfusion and the midwife said it might impact my ability to nurse you guys, so I tried the pumping. To our surprise and delight, my milk had come in the second day, even though I could not stand. My body was on the mend.<br />
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The third morning I still could not get out of bed, and had decided I would get the transfusion at noon if I couldn't get up then. I needed to be able to take care of you. Somehow when noon came, I walked to the bathroom, and the nurses cleaned me up and gave me a sponge bath. They were so kind to me.<br />
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I'd averted the transfusion. I was able to get up a little bit and do things. I took a shower the next day. It was delightfully freeing.<br />
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My c-section was pretty painful at first and I had to keep up on the medications so I could move around. But it got better pretty fast.<br />
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During our five day stay in the hospital, we learned how to take care of you guys. We learned breastfeeding, swaddling, comforting. I felt that I was ready to go home when the last day finally arrived.<br />
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We packed our bags and loaded everything in the car. Auntie Carrie brought the car seats in and helped Justin pick up my pain meds from the pharmacy. We carried you down with two nurses who took our pictures as we were about to drive away.<br />
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We pulled out of the hospital and neither of you made a peep on the way home. I guess you knew you were going to the right place with the right people.<br />
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You both are the best thing I've ever done. I'm so happy you chose me to be your mom. I can't wait to see what wonderful people you develop into.<br />
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The morning we headed to the hospital.</div>
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Whose belly is bigger?</div>
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The girls, just missing little Molly Rose.</div>
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After the spinal, setting things up to welcome you into the world.</div>
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Getting ready for your birth.</div>
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Welcome to the world, Lauren!</div>
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Welcome to the world, Keith!</div>
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Snuggling skin to skin with tiny Lauren. You quieted down the instant they put you on me.</div>
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Daddy holding little Keith.</div>
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The pediatrician checking out the babies. Both perfectly healthy!</div>
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Keith on the left, Lauren on the right. You guys had quite the lungs!</div>
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Feeling pretty elated! </div>
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A day or so after delivery, still recovering. Kaiser's hospital food was amazing.</div>
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Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08912250240558051399noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676529006668068419.post-40651877118860638722015-09-05T19:31:00.002-07:002015-09-05T19:32:23.814-07:00The Little Charlies are Two Weeks! (& Check Up)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Yesterday Keith & Lauren turned two weeks old! We were in for their first pediatrician appointment. The advantage of twins is that every appointment is double-booked. Even in pregnancy. So you're never rushed at the doctor. Of course sometimes I would like to be rushed- it seems like every time we walk into the clinic, we are there for 2-3 hours- a long time.</div>
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The two of them were checked for height and weight and everything else and passed with flying colors. They were both essentially back to birth weight (Lauren was one ounce short, and Keith was a little over.) Lauren measured 20" and Keith measured 21"- both at the 85th percentile when compared against 40 week babies. They were 39 weeks this Wednesday. Both increased head size- Lauren to 13" and Keith to 14". All excellent for any baby, but especially for 37 week twin babies and a new-to-breastfeeding mom.</div>
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As well, they had to retest for some genetic things with a heel prick at yesterday's appointment. Mamma was not too keen on this and felt it was a bit abusive. I knew if they cried, I'd be crying and I really didn't want to have them get pricked and experience pain. We decided to do Keith first since he was milk-drunk and sleeping. I put him on my shoulder and he snuggled into my neck. I kept talking to him while the lab tech pricked his heel and placed 4 dots of blood on the paper card. Next went Lauren, who was wide awake and alert. We knew for sure she'd scream. I decided to try to breastfeed her, talk to her and see how it went. Surprisingly she also made it through the whole thing without a peep. I felt so relieved they didn't seem traumatized. Next time they will have more shots. I declined the Hep B for now, but will get it done over time. They are too little for so much prodding.</div>
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We've adjusted pretty well to being home. The last ten days have been somewhat of a blur but in the best way. We've managed to go for three walks, go out for Thai food once, stop at the doctor's office twice and go the the grocery store twice. We had three bad spells where the two of them got off on their sleep. It always happens at about 11PM-midnight-ish. It's been total of seven hours where they got off, which I think is really amazing for ten days, and especially being the little guys that they are. I feel pretty fortunate that these two were the little souls we were entrusted with.</div>
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They are both doing amazing at breastfeeding, sleeping and being alert. Both have practiced tummy time, and have spent many hours looking around the house and looking at people. They are both "hand babies" -- meaning-- they are really expressive with their hands. They have never had them balled up into fists since birth really. We try to leave them free so they can move them about. They look like little mimes sometimes! Lauren really likes to touch her brother's face also. She is always reaching for it when they sit next to each other.</div>
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This morning they spent about an hour on the bed looking at each other. We'd all spent the morning lounging in bed, which is the best way to start a Saturday.</div>
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Lauren during a bad gas/sleeping night- poor sweet thing, being the tinier of the two has more gas problems</div>
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This was after our toughest night, where I was up with them for about four hours (from 1-5AM). They were cluster feeding, had gas and Keith pooped and peed two outfits! It's okay, they are still sweet.</div>
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Later that night, after they calmed down.</div>
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Lauren likes to hold her ear.</div>
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We just started putting them in sleep sacks and then swaddling over the top of them. Keeps them warmer when we have cooler nights.</div>
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They were laying on the bed this morning totally content having some sort of silent conversation. I took a series of photos, so you can see how they interact with each other. And their little expressive hands. They are so sweet, so interesting. We love that they look so different. With twins, I think it's a blessing to have noticeable differences. I hope for them to have their own identity, and not just be "the twins".</div>
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Both of them have a ton of hair. She's got about 3/4". </div>
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He has nearly an inch on the back. </div>
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Lauren looking at Keith</div>
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Keith looking at Lauren</div>
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Daddy talking to Lauren & Keith.</div>
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Ready to walk to Extracto coffee shop. It was 63 out. </div>
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Miss Lauren.</div>
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My sweet babies. </div>
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Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08912250240558051399noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676529006668068419.post-74886294837064107092015-08-28T22:24:00.000-07:002015-09-05T14:46:56.493-07:00One Week Old<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The last week was an indescribable experience. Emotionally and physically the greatest feat I've ever accomplished. A tornado of emotions. It was a tunnel that I slid through to get to the other side, where I'd come home with two little babes, the most precious experience of my life, mirroring the experience my little Keith & Lauren took to get here. They missed the birth canal, but they got a different entrance (one of my friend's husbands called it the sunroof.) </div>
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We are so happy to be home!</div>
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We arrived home! Tuesday about 5PM. They were quiet the whole car ride. </div>
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My mom put these in the fridge for us to find when we got home (it's her diet cokes).</div>
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This was a few days ago.</div>
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Newborns have hearts in their ears. I just noticed it. Of course I spend an inordinate time staring at them.</div>
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I never get tired of looking at them. I feel so lucky to have my little babies.</div>
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Baby monitors are the best; you can spy anytime.</div>
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6 days post delivery. I am wearing a belly band though. It helps w support and to bring everthing together. I was 178.5 at delivery. 149 in this photo. I have to be careful to eat enough- breastfeeding twins has a high caloric demand. Feet swelling magically went away the night of day 5. </div>
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Introducing Oatie to the twins. He was a little wary. Then got brave and was going to go up and possibly lick Lauren. But Carrie said something to him and he got scared off. </div>
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This afternoon</div>
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I can't believe how neat these two are. So sweet and interesting. </div>
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Flowers for Mommy from a friend</div>
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One week old today! </div>
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Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08912250240558051399noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676529006668068419.post-3620286161988506882015-08-20T10:53:00.000-07:002015-08-20T11:10:55.815-07:00A Letter to My Babies: On the Eve of Your Births<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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What a journey this has been to reach today. Tomorrow you will come into the world. Out of my tummy. No more squirming or rolling around. How I will miss those feelings of you two growing into little people inside me. We've come a long way together, the three of us. I never expected it would happen. After twenty years of an irregular cycle, I thought I had no chance at children and wrote it off in my late twenties. But things changed, and my body told me at thirty-five that I might be a mama someday. I met your dad the same year by a stroke of luck, ending up at a lighthouse off the coast of North Carolina, after years of being a gypsy traveler. And a couple years later we decided to give parenthood a try.<br />
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Tonight I sit quietly. Contemplating your arrival. How all these things came together to create you both. The surprise at actually getting pregnant. The shock and fear of the first appointment when we learned there were two of you. My body really went all out when it decided to have a baby. These eight and half months have been a little tumultuous. Carrying twins is not for the weak. I spent hours and days worried about you guys. Worried something would go wrong. Worried I wasn't doing enough. Trying my best.<br />
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Now, you've grown up from tiny specks to little people in my tummy. Most of the pregnancy you've laid head to head. I wonder if you'll want to sleep that way when you come out. I think so. I wonder how your little personalities will be. We will soon find out. I think you will both be wonderful. I feel so honored to be blessed with you, my little twin babies.<br />
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In the morning we'll have a c-section. I wanted to have a natural birth. But it wasn't meant to be. I don't like to force life to go in the direction I wanted. I've learned enough to follow the road as it lays out in front of me. Sometimes it's not the path I imagined I'd take. In fact, most of my adult life has been quite a surprise to me. I hope when you live your lives, you're able to make changes, adjust and lean in the direction you need to go. I also hope to give you the strength to get through the rough patches that will inevitably arrive. Life is full of surprises, good and bad.<br />
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So here we are, the last night the three of us will sleep as one. Your little hearts beating with mine, yet all three with our own rhythms. Your hiccups that come and go. The butts and elbows, and tiny kicks. Your squirming and moving furniture in my tummy. All those days, I never got sick of it. I loved feeling you moving inside me.<br />
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I'm a little sad it will be over and worried of course, but I can't wait to start the next step of this adventure. I am so honored to be your mom. I can't wait to meet you, my sweet babies.<br />
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<br />Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08912250240558051399noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676529006668068419.post-3725663032675758172015-08-18T01:00:00.000-07:002015-08-17T20:40:27.637-07:00Almost 37 Weeks -- The Grand Finale! <div style="text-align: center;">
Here we are... on the eve of 37 weeks... </div>
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My mom arrived ten days ago and has been a tremendous help, pulling together all the stuff that I couldn't do in the last couple of months. Mostly every day I just have been laying in bed or on the couch, with my little protector, Oatie. He has a major affinity for "The Hill" as I like to call my belly, either sitting on it or wrapping his little body around it. I think he knows the twins already. </div>
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My mom arrived a week after I sprained my ankle twisting it off my shoe and shortly after I was diagnosed with <a href="http://www.icpcare.org/overview.html" target="_blank">Cholestasis</a>, which is bile spilling into your bloodstream. It affects approximately 0.7% of white pregnant females. Apparently I am good at weird odds. About two weeks ago, I'd suddenly been up for two nights with intense itching all night long (sleeping with a towel to itch myself instead of using my fingernails), and ended up in labor and delivery on a Saturday morning. Luckily Kaiser was familiar with Cholestasis, and had me started on medications even before all the labs came back. I was feeling way less itchy after about four days. It's an important one to catch, because if it gets out of control or goes undiagnosed, you have a higher risk of preterm labor or stillborn birth. With Cholestasis they want to deliver twins in the 37th week. </div>
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So we are truly nearing the end with week 37 looming on Wednesday. I'm thankful to be here, and thankful the end is in sight. At this point, I have a uterus which is contracted almost all night long and quite a large chunk of the daytime hours as well. This means every night, I am awake most of the night. It will stay contracted for 5-20 minutes or more at a time and never really releases to normal/soft. It's pretty painful and very hard to sleep when it does this. Changing positions, drinking water, or taking magnesium does nothing. The overnight contractions started about one week ago or so. It's good sleep training for when the twins come, but it is pretty horrible and makes it impossible to sit up at all. </div>
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So I cannot wait to be able to sit up again, and to breathe and to eat normally. And to meet these two little buggers who are in my tummy. It is hard to believe that in not so many days, I will have two kids. </div>
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I've posted a pile of pictures below.</div>
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Our delightful OB, Dr. Brass, who also had twins. This was our last appointment with her before birth and final growth ultrasound.</div>
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Oatie relaxing on the hill riding in the car. </div>
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We had a handyman (Jeff) in this week to fix the ceiling in the basement where the HVAC people left a huge mess after installing our furnace. Four before pictures of the mess. My mom has built like ten new houses so has a lot of experience with this sort of thing and was able to be there to make decisions and help while I laid on the couch upstairs.</div>
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The Kathy helping Jeff tear down the wall and get rid of the door.</div>
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First after, more to come.</div>
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Oatie protecting The Hill.</div>
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Oatie Ha hiding in my robe on the couch. </div>
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Dug out my mom's 1972 Singer, which works like a charm, to sew together car seat covers for the Charlies. I bought the fabric months ago but couldn't get around to doing it until now. My mom helped a little with the placement of the straps because I was too pregnant to think but I sewed it all myself. She also did a little trouble shooting on the machine, as it had been quite a while since I had used it and with pregnancy had threaded something wrong!</div>
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Finished product</div>
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Remnants of the ankle sprain- one month now, still lingering... :( The last time I sprained my ankle it stayed swollen for 3 months. I'm hoping once I lose some of the 40 pounds I've gained, it will go down. This is even with wrapping, heating and icing it.</div>
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This was a few days ago. About 36.5 weeks along here, measuring 48 weeks pregnant. </div>
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The BAG is packed and ready to go! We got the little hats from one of Justin's customers in the Midwest.</div>
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My sweet niece Lily (6) drew a picture of her whole family, which includes Justin at the end holding "boy & girl". Pretty amazingly sweet drawing. </div>
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This is a crooked Hill. They are way off too the right. Which explains why most of my pain is on the right side.</div>
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Gorgeous handmade quilts from Great Grandmom Winona in North Carolina. She made fishermen and kiters for our son and little girls in bonnets for our daughter. She worked on them since February! They will be with the kids for a long time. </div>
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Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08912250240558051399noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676529006668068419.post-45946671429545430992015-07-22T15:44:00.000-07:002015-07-22T21:37:31.509-07:0033 Weeks: Third Trimester Update<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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33 Weeks</div>
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And now I can see the finish line. It could be any day really, but hopefully not until August. I've thought all along that I'd be carrying these little Charlies until the thirty-eight week mark and end up with an induction. But the last few weeks have me wondering if they will stay inside that long.<br />
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The third trimester arrived, and overnight I became a pregnant lady who couldn't breathe, couldn't sit, couldn't walk, and felt like nonstop whining.<br />
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Until a few weeks ago, I was the poster child for a twin pregnancy. I was walking, biking or paddle-boarding daily, working full time, and generally feeling like myself only larger. I'd had some difficulty breathing, occasional back pain and mild exhaustion, but it was nothing I couldn't manage.<br />
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After the four-day Fourth of July holiday weekend, I went to work that Tuesday, huffing and puffing through the day, spending the lunch hour laying sideways in my car with the seat reclined, trying to catch my breath. My heart racing, I shuffled from room to room, trying to make it through the twenty-two patients on my schedule. The week before, I'd noticed a sudden increase in exhaustion, and thought perhaps it was low iron, so I had my OB check that, but I was holding steady and still not really anemic. (It's very common/normal for twin moms to be anemic.) The day of the huffing and puffing, I'd noticed almost no fetal movement (less than 10% of normal). I kept waiting for them to "wake up" but they never did. Typically they move all day long: when I'm driving, sitting, seeing patients, walking, if I get up to go to the bathroom, etc. And they are quiet when I go to sleep. They are very active little Charlies. So it was a quite a difference.<br />
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I called the advice nurse after work on the way home. She said I could try to lay down and do a kick count but that it was hard with twins, or I could come into the hospital for fetal monitoring. She suggested coming in. We did, and they were fine. While we were doing the monitoring, an alarm repeatedly went off in our room. We thought they were trying to make us go insane. Later we found out that I kept setting off the alarm because my oxygen saturation was dropping below 95%. It's been in the 93-95% range (below normal) when I was at appointments, resting and laying down. I'm sure it's lower when I am running around huffing and puffing. Our OB said for twins it was normal to be as low as 90%. It just feels like you are suffocating at times, which is a creepy feeling. Heart racing, flushing, wheezing, out of breath, nauseous, dizzy, generally feeling weird. Not nice. But normal for twins. Since all the labs were normal, my OB concluded that the weird symptoms were all related to breathing problems. Our baby girl is transverse (sideways) in my ribs and baby boy is breech below, propping her up. She said it was the worst positions they could be in as far as obstructing my lungs. If he would even flip to vertex, it would be a better situation.<br />
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We got home so late that I ended up staying home the following day (Wednesday). I went to work the next day, that Thursday, on a day with an easy schedule. I ended up having several more low oxygen episodes. Laying on the floor in my office between patients to catch my breath, I wondered what I should do. I contacted my OB and told her how things had changed. She said I should be off work. I asked what happened, why I suddenly got so much worse when I'd been doing so well. She said that I'd only done that well because I had started out so healthy. Most twin moms never made it that far working full time. She had twins too, so she knows.<br />
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So at 32 weeks, I was pulled off work. I'd been planning to make it to August 1st, which was 34.5 weeks, and got pretty close. Most twin moms get pulled off at 28-30 weeks, or sooner with bedrest. We did great.<br />
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Something I didn't know was that your heart rate increases with pregnancy. Mine runs between 95-120, even when I'm sitting down. With twins, we have double blood volume as compared to normal (a singleton has 1.5x blood volume), so our hearts are in overdrive to keep the blood moving (normal to have up to HR of 140 with twins). It's especially weird since I used to have a resting heart rate in the 60s. Right away in the first trimester, it had jumped up to the 90-100 range. During the second, it calmed down a bit and now that they are trying to gain a pound a week combined, it's higher than ever. It's so weird: there are <i>three</i> <i>hearts</i> beating inside me.<br />
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Another interesting thing is that it is so hard to keep eating enough to keep up with two babies. I've struggled to gain the weight I have gained (about 34 pounds so far). The last three weeks of work, I had not gained anything. The scale was stuck at 168. In the week and a half since I've stopped, I've gone up to 172. During the third trimester, the twins will add a half pound each per week, so I am supposed to gain two pounds per week (one for them, one for me). If I don't gain weight, they are taking it from me. Which is why my arms and face and everything else has gotten thinner with pregnancy. It's hard to keep up. I've resorted to high calorie ice cream, lots of snacking, and keeping food at my nightstand so when I wake up at midnight or 4AM hungry, I just have to reach over and grab something. I had wondered why a lot of my friends who had twins had looked so thin by the end of pregnancy. Now I know.<br />
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So we are settling into the last 2-5 weeks of the pregnancy. We have the baby room mostly ready. We have a few things to order yet, but we're getting there.<br />
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My emotions are bubbling up under the surface. Wondering what it will be like to meet these two little people who have been keeping me company for the last almost eight months. I'm imagining my birth. No vision of vaginal or c-section, whatever happens happens. As much as I wanted to experience a vaginal birth, if I don't get it, well, I got twins. That's an amazing experience that most people don't have. So I am feeling at peace no matter which way it goes.<br />
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I think I'll be a quiet birther either way we go. I'd guess that tears will stream out of my eyes when these little Charlies enter this world--the whole feeling of creating a person -- how my mom and dad did this for me-- how my dad would be proud-- and my mom will be there with us, ready to be grandma of twins and her first grandson.<br />
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Throughout this pregnancy, we've felt love from all over the world. From old friends, and new. From patients. From strangers. It's a grand hug we've felt, and we feel very fortunate to be the recipients of all this goodwill.<br />
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I can't say I know how it will turn out. I'm thinking my babies will be in the 6-7 pound range, and they will come between the 12-18 of August. We have our names figured out for the most part. Now we just have to patiently wait for the two of them to arrive.<br />
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32 weeks</div>
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Braxton-Hicks contraction- my belly gets really misshapen. The left hill is baby girls' head and the right hill is her little butt.</div>
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Attempting to flip our Little Breech Boy. </div>
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When I was still riding my bike. </div>
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I was always a master of headstands since I was a little kid, so I decided to give it a try. Didn't last too long but I did it. June 14th. 28 weeks. </div>
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Quite a long time ago when I could still paddleboard. June 14th. 28 weeks.</div>
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We've mastered the Moby Wrap using Oatie. He loves it. And he's great company when I am resting. Which is a lot these days. </div>
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Twisted my ankle yesterday morning, seemed like it was okay until I couldn't walk on it at all at toward end of the day and Carrie and Justin had to get me to the car. Ended up in Kaiser Urgent Care (I was so happy to realise they'd have a wheelchair there) and thankfully only sprained it. (Everyone was so nice, and only one hour total to get everything done). Lord have mercy, this pregnancy. Even when you're doing nothing you can still injure yourself. :) No biggie. </div>
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Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08912250240558051399noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676529006668068419.post-60336195761436554022015-05-29T09:05:00.001-07:002015-05-30T10:32:56.521-07:00Remembering "My Dad" Keith<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Bemidji, Minnesota, June 14, 1976 </span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-2f2aed75-a063-e1ee-f7d5-d3f73ae2505d" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Nine-five! Nine-five!” Dr. Gregoire announced down the hospital hallway as he rolled my mom back to her room. My mom shrunk in embarrassment at her extra-large newborn, while my dad beamed with pride at his first child, a giant daughter who looked like him. Purple, with tons of reddish-brown hair and a frown line between my brow, I wasn’t sure about entering this world. But this man with the curly brown hair and ear-to-ear grin sure seemed happy to have me. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Bemidji, Minnesota, 1976, infant</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“I don’t know if she's that smart- maybe she needs her hearing tested,” my mom said to my dad as I was looking around at the world. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Nah, she’s just a watcher. She’s paying attention to every little thing. She’s a smart little one, I know it.” He said.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Bemidji, MN, Winter 1977, age 1 1/2</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My dad was headed outside to get wood from the woodpile so we could make a fire in the fireplace. I wanted to help, so he let me tag along with him and gave me a piece of firewood to haul inside. Clutching it tightly in my arms, I waddled to the back door of the garage while my mom held the door open. Carefully making my way up the back stairs, I managed to get inside with my piece of firewood. I was so happy that I was so strong and I could help my dad.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Manitowoc, Wisconsin, August 1979, age 3</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Bath time. My dad ran the tub. “Arms up!” He said. I stuck my hands to the sky. He pulled my t-shirt over my head. Chunks of skin came off my back, chest and under my armpits along with my shirt. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Kathy!” He called my mom in. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Get your PJs on. We’re gonna get into the car.” My dad said. I got re-dressed, not sure what was happening. With my red slipper socks on my feet, I crawled into the passenger side of my dad’s car. We drove off in the dark to the hospital while my mom stayed home with my baby sister, Carrie.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">After pulling up to the back door, we walked into the emergency room. The doctors decided to admit me to the hospital. My dad checked me in and went home to tell my mom what happened. </span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I wasn’t too upset to stay in the hospital alone. I thought I was an adult. I’d been trying to take care of my parents for a couple years already. I’d gotten them to quit smoking. I made sure they behaved and protected my mom when my dad tried to tickle her too much. I took away their squirt guns when they were shooting water in the house. But at the hospital, they didn’t realise that, and put me in a crib which made me pretty mad. Then the nurse told me I couldn’t use the little corner bathroom by myself. But I’d been going potty by since I was 16 months, and I didn’t need help. I snuck over and used the bathroom by myself anyway. Once the nurse caught me in there and got mad. </span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I’d been exposed to impetigo (a staph infection) by one of my cousins which went into my bloodstream causing toxic shock syndrome. My pediatrician, Dr. Bush, gave me strong antibiotics and told my mom the next morning if I wasn’t improving by noon, I’d be airlifted to Milwaukee or Madison. </span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But I got better. And the hospital stay turned out to be mostly fun. My dad would visit every day after work, with a box of colored Chicklets gum for me. Family and friends brought rainbow striped socks, and a Fisher Price circus train set. I took oatmeal baths across the hall from my room in a clawfoot tub. </span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I went home six days later, mostly healed. With an experience to last a lifetime. And parents who were relieved.</span></div>
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<br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Manitowoc, Wisconsin, 1980, age 3 1/2</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“What happened?” He crouched down on the floor next to me and the giant pile of clothes I’d constructed in frustration after getting into trouble for something I didn’t think I done wrong. </span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My mom had told me not to go to Ruth Ann’s house and ring the doorbell so I went there and knocked on the door. She said I knew I wasn’t supposed to do that. But I didn’t do what she said not to do. When I explained it to her, she got mad and put me in my room. My mom and Carrie left me in my room with the door stuck shut (our house had shifted so us kids couldn’t open the doors) and walked away from the house. I screamed out the window and decided to show them for leaving me and unfairly punishing me. I emptied out my closet and dresser into a mountain in the middle of the room. </span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I told my dad what happened. “It’s okay,” he said. Together we cleaned up the mess I’d made. </span></div>
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<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Manitowoc, Wisconsin, 1980, age 4</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Lift your butt up,” he whispered in his deep, soft voice. I was still mostly asleep in the dark- always one who had difficulty waking and loved to get a full night’s sleep. I raised my butt, eyes heavy-lidded and shut, half in dream-land. He pulled my pants up over my rear, and I rested back down while he tugged my socks on my feet. “Sit up.” I did. “Lift your arms up.” Off went the nightie, and on went my shirt. I was finally waking up some. “Okay, let’s go have some breakfast.” I plopped my feet on the floor and silently walked downstairs. I wasn’t ready to talk yet, and he didn’t prod me. This was the way I often remember my dad getting me ready for school. He was too nice to me.</span></div>
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<br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Alexandria, Minnesota, June 14, 1981, 5th Birthday</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I’d gotten my magenta bike with the flowered basket on the front a couple years before and started with training wheels. Then on my fifth birthday, I finally learned to ride without them. My dad had taken the little white training wheels off and we went to the top of the small gravel hill next to our house. “Today’s the day!” He said, beaming, as we went to the top of the hill. He thought I could do anything. And I believed him. I was so excited to be a big girl and ride with two wheels. Running beside me as I pedaled down the hill, I took off on the first try. Feeling the air in my blonde hair flying behind me. My dad with his hands on his hips, a grin as wide as his face could go, laughing and clapping, “That’s my girl!” He hollered. I couldn’t believe it. I was doing it. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Alexandria, Minnesota June 14, 1982, 6th Birthday,</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This year there was a new big black dirt bike with yellow writing on the side, outfitted with a yellow pad on the crossbar in case I had a boo-boo and landed on the bar. He always thought I was bigger and more capable than I was. It was so big that I had to climb on the railroad tie retaining wall to get on and carefully coast up to the edge of it when I got home to get off. When I first got it, I couldn’t even ride it and sit on the seat at first. But I did it. I got on and rode that big bike anyway and came back safely to the house. I rode around the driveway and into the street. He thought I could do anything, so I did. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Alexandria, Minnesota, Fall 1982, first grade, age 6</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">He knelt down clutching my royal blue backpack in his hands. With a house key on a string and a large safety pin, he anchored our house key to the bottom of my backpack. “Come in the front door and lock it behind yourself if we’re not home.” He showed me how to do it. I could take care of myself, too.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Alexandria, Minnesota, Winter 1983, age 6 </span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In the woods beside our house, I stood below my dad looking up at the tree. He’d found something and was taking it down. “It’s a beehive,” he said. “It’s dormant.” He put it in a large black trash bag and cinched down the handle. “You can take it to school and show the kids.” I thought it was a good idea and the next morning I hopped on the bus carrying my show and tell item. </span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Morning Schultzie!” The bus driver, Gus, said to me with a smile. He always looked happy to see me. I sat down on one of the green vinyl bench seats and we bounced along to the the next stop. After about twenty minutes we arrived at school. I hopped off and headed up to my classroom. </span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">On the way down the hall, I heard a teacher yelling at me, “What are you doing? You could kill someone!” I turned around and stared, not knowing what I'd done. She snatched the bag and ran off. I noticed some wasps were coming out of the top. But it was supposed to be empty. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I went to my classroom for the day. </span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Later after getting home, my dad asked me how show and tell went. I told him it went great. He never knew what really happened. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.</span></div>
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<br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Bemidji, MN, Summer 1983, Fishing, age 7</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Our whole family was out fishing off the side of the pontoon boat. We did this every year. I was standing next to my dad. We both had cast our lines into the clear blue lake. I thought I felt a tug. Yes! I had a fish. I started reeling in my line. My dad had one too! We both cranked on our fishing poles hoping we’d caught more than just a big weed. The lines came up. Oh no, my dad’s and mine were tangled together. But there was a fish on one of the lines. We reeled in into the boat. My dad worked on the lines, and said, “It’s your fish! It’s on your line!” I looked at it, and thought it was on his but he was trying to be nice to me. So I just went along with it. </span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Afterward we were back up outside the cabin. “You can do it,” He said, at the wooden picnic table under the green trees. I had the small fish in my hands at the cutting board. I didn’t really want to clean the fish. It seemed kinda gross. But he wanted me to and was so excited that I didn’t want to let him down. With his wide eyes and soft encouragement, I worked at cleaning my little fish, even though I was scared of it. When it was done, I felt pretty proud of myself and even felt better when I saw how proud he was of me.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Minneapolis, Minnesota, October 1983, age 7</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In his hospital bed by the window, he sat with the covers wrapped around him. Smiling from ear to ear, he was so glad to see me there. Just two weeks before, we’d found out he had leukemia. I’d brought my green spelling notebook from my cousin’s elementary school, where I was attending while my dad got better in the hospital. We were supposed to read and spell our words to our parents and have them sign it as proof. I took it out of my bag and recited the list to my dad. “That’s my girl!” He said. I believed him. It was the last time I saw him alive.</span></div>
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<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And now, Portland, Oregon, May 2015, age 38</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I’m expecting my dad’s grandchildren. I think about my dad as “Grandpa Keith” often. When I see my uncles, his brothers. How they laugh and play with my nieces, so easy going. How when I show up they are beaming with pride at whatever I’m doing. How good they are with woodworking and their hands. The crinkles next to their eyes. Their easy laughter. </span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I imagine my dad playing horsey with my kids on his knees, playing monster on the floor, teaching them to believe in themselves, even when no one else does. Working on cars together, reading them books, chopping wood. What would he think now? Me, his oldest and biggest daughter- I’d be three inches taller than him, a fact that would make him burst with pride- finally having babies. I know what he'd think- he'd be happy and proud.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Pregnancy has triggered memory after memory, slipping into my psyche at surprising times. Most times I realize I’m the only who holds the memory. My sisters were too young to remember anything about my dad as a parent. I tuck them away, hoping I can harness them for use in the coming years as I try out being a parent myself. Hoping I can be softie with an easy laugh, a believer in them and teach them they can do anything too.</span></div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Np1hkXre-RE/VWiP1zMjFUI/AAAAAAAAPdY/AlSBqpLeL9U/s1600/sara%2Bdad.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="343" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Np1hkXre-RE/VWiP1zMjFUI/AAAAAAAAPdY/AlSBqpLeL9U/s400/sara%2Bdad.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In tribute to “My Dad” Keith Loren Schultz: 3/1/49 to 11/2/1983. He was the man who believed in me and taught me to believe in myself. A kind and gentle spirit. A part of him lives with me today. I still miss him to this day.</span>Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08912250240558051399noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676529006668068419.post-16614143424783211692015-04-17T20:19:00.003-07:002015-04-20T12:15:01.828-07:00The Day We Found Out Baby Charlies' Genders<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XQfgtxQLT-U/VTHEf3uwisI/AAAAAAAAPao/ErVIQbd22vc/s1600/charlies%2Breveal.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XQfgtxQLT-U/VTHEf3uwisI/AAAAAAAAPao/ErVIQbd22vc/s1600/charlies%2Breveal.jpg" height="266" width="400" /></a></div>
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Proud Parents-to-Be!</div>
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(PS The lady sitting behind us with the glasses is Carrie, who filmed the video)</div>
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In case you didn't see the video: </div>
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(Caution: may cause tears)</div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="250" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/124937136" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="400"></iframe> </div>
<a href="https://vimeo.com/124937136">Justin & Sara's Twins - We tell you the genders!</a> from <a href="https://vimeo.com/user4213073">Pixel Hawk</a> on <a href="https://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.<br />
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Monday after we finished our ultrasound and appointment with the doctor, our technician Jessica came out with two sealed manila envelopes marked "Twin A" & "Twin B". I stuck them in my journal and stuffed it into my black and red chicken tote bag. Dr. Brass came out as we were about to leave and asked us our guesses. We scheduled our next appointment with her and headed out the door. Everyone was is so sweet to us in perinatology. Like a bunch of old friends.<br />
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We had a carload of errands to do: Home Depot, Powell's Books, UPS, New Seasons. Stopping in the rain here and there along the way as we drove north back to our house to check each item off the list, it took a while to get home.<br />
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Molly texted me at about 4:00PM while we were in the car: "So are you celebrating? :)" I told her we hadn't looked yet. She said, "When are you crazies going to look?!?"<br />
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Delayed gratification. It is an art. Justin and I are pretty good at it.<br />
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Truthfully part of it was that we were both nervous about opening the envelopes. It's good to know but then there's no turning back. I was definitely scared to find out. We had both hoping for one of each.<br />
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Originally, we'd thought we'd get a coffee or treat after the appointment and go up to the top of Mount Tabor or to our bench under the trees in Fernhill (the park that we live on), but water kept falling from the sky, and the cool air wasn't too inviting.<br />
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"Maybe we should just do it at home," I said.<br />
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Justin's idea: "I think we should go to Cha Ba Thai." Which is not a fancy place at all, but it is the place we always go to, maybe about twenty blocks from our house. The wait staff already knew us. It was kind of like home.<br />
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Around 7:30, we hopped into my car, carrying Justin's good camera and the little manila envelopes. I sped there and got a spot in front of the door. We dressed nice (for us) for the occasion. Since I'm already starting to have difficulty fitting into a lot of my normal clothes, I had a limited selection. Justin put on my favorite shirt of his. We were ready for some life changing news.<br />
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"Sit wherever you like," the cute Asian guy at the door told us.<br />
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The air was a little loud with conversation in there, and we wondered if it was the right place to be. We chose the wall where it seemed most quiet. And because we liked the barn-looking backdrop.<br />
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We sat down and Justin put our little "The Charlies" Valentine's card at the table next to us and the two envelopes sitting out between us. We ordered dinner- red curry duck for Justin and red curry tofu for me.<br />
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After the food was ordered, we thought maybe that was the time to do the deed. Who could record it for us? Justin thought the waitstaff but they seemed too busy. I thought maybe the two ladies behind us. We hmmed and hawed. I went over and asked the ladies if they could film us and told them what we were doing. One woman said she could not work a camera, but the other woman with shoulder-length grey hair and aqua glasses thought she could. Justin showed her the basics. Her name was Carrie.<br />
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Our moment was here.<br />
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We didn't have a plan. But we decided to shuffle and pick. I got Twin A and had to go first.<br />
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Opening that envelope felt like jumping off a huge scary cliff. My heart was racing. I was holding my breath and biting my lower lip.<br />
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When I saw A was a boy I was thinking, <i>Oh my God, we're going to have two boys.</i> It was a panicked feeling. I truthfully really wanted one boy. But I didn't really want two. It was probably just because I grew up with all girls.<br />
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Justin has more practice in being on camera, and using dramatic pause. He took his time opening his envelope. I was so surprised when he said "B is a girl". I really couldn't believe it.<br />
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After it was done, we were both so relieved. We both were a little scared of a house full of barbie girls or rowdy boys. One of each seemed like unbelievable good luck. <br />
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Our next ultrasound is on April 28th. They couldn't quite get all the views of the heart and spine that they needed. Justin will be in North Carolina, so my sister Carrie is going to go with me and see the twins in action.<br />
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So here we go along the way. What an amazing journey already. <br />
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A: Sweet Little Baby Boy Charlie</div>
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B: Sweet Little Baby Girl Charlie</div>
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Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08912250240558051399noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676529006668068419.post-50926961882402159972015-04-13T19:22:00.001-07:002015-04-13T19:35:30.229-07:00Ultrasound #4: Feet and Heads and Two Healthy STUBBORN Little Charlies!<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Np8WJbQ4eOo/VSx0lm3VmWI/AAAAAAAAPZU/qOmKcYsJIqo/s1600/IMG_0577.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Np8WJbQ4eOo/VSx0lm3VmWI/AAAAAAAAPZU/qOmKcYsJIqo/s1600/IMG_0577.JPG" height="295" width="400" /></a></div>
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Apparently the mostly vegetarian diet is still working. (I have added fish to help with the protein.) The babies are thriving, growing, moving a lot and right on schedule.<br />
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This afternoon we had our fourth ultrasound, which was for the full anatomical scan and also for gender determination. We arrived at Kaiser Sunnyside Hospital to meet up with the perinatology department, and ended up with the same sweet ultrasound tech, Jessica, and our great doctor, Elizabeth Brass. Our last appointment was on the westside, so it was cool to see the same faces in a different location.<br />
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We were also fortunate enough to have the patient experience of "not getting checked in". We'd been there for thirty minutes waiting when I started to wonder. No one really ever runs twenty minutes late at Kaiser without letting you know. Kicking myself for not wearing my badge (which would have let me in the door), I was about to phone the desk upstairs when one of the MAs came out and called my name, and said I hadn't been checked in.<br />
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The anatomical exam was mostly successful, though not everything was visualized as our doctor wanted- so we have to go back in two weeks for a second ultrasound for more views of the heart in A and more of the spine in B.<br />
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We also decided we'd come home with envelopes telling us what the genders were. Justin had the idea that we should put them in separate envelopes and each of us open one.<br />
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This morning in bed we made our guesses:<br />
<ul>
<li>Sara: A: boy, B: girl (though I have had SIX dreams that I had two girls-- I think it's just because I grew up with all girls.</li>
<li>Justin: A: girl, B: boy.</li>
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Little Charlies A & B were very stubborn and neither wanted to be pigeonholed into a gender category for most of the exam. (Apparently they take after their mom & dad!) Fortunately our ultrasound tech, Jessica was also very stubborn and kept trying. We helped move things along by threatening to name them Pat Jean & Kim Terry. Finally they succumbed to the pressure and Jessica got their photos while we kept our eyes closed tight. She printed them out and hid them in labeled matching manila envelopes.<br />
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WE HAVE NOT OPENED THEM YET!</div>
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After the ultrasound, we had an appointment with Dr. Brass. She said everything looked great. They were right on target for size. Good amniotic fluid for both babies. We will be 19 weeks on Wednesday, so technically today we were 18 weeks 5 days today. Head sizes were normal for age.<br />
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<li>A: measuring 19 weeks, 1 day, breech presentation, laying right under my belly button</li>
<li>B: measuring 18 weeks, 6 days, transverse presentation, laying above my belly button, almost under my ribs. </li>
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(NO WONDER I FELT LIKE THEY WERE TAKING UP A TON OF SPACE! I thought they were way up there near my sternum and all the way down to my lady flower-- I was right!)<br />
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Cutest Lil Feet!</div>
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Charlie A always gets the better photo, but I think it's because Charlie B is up under my ribs almost.</div>
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Good news: I weighed in today at 154 (with clothes). Starting weight was 139 (without clothes). I am finally going up. I found a great online website, www.myfitnesspal.com, which I've been using to been to track my calorie and protein intake and am actually doing a lot better than I thought I was. The goal is 100-120 g of protein per day for twins, and I'm pretty close. Since we're into the second trimester, I'm trying to be more careful about getting the right food in. I'm still never hungry but I eat anyway, and am getting at least 2,000 calories per day- a lot more than I used to eat- I'm just naturally a crazy fruit and veggie lady, but the three of us are doing pretty well. One of of the mamas on my natural birth twins group pointed out that being pregnant with twins puts your body in nutritional distress. Which is about the way it feels. But we are doing fine. The Charlies are a strong and stubborn family! :)<br />
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Extra Protein-- I'm a BODY BUILDER now. A Double Body Builder!</div>
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I never dreamed I'd be eating protein bars!</div>
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<br />Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08912250240558051399noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676529006668068419.post-58272574895196200692015-04-08T20:33:00.000-07:002015-04-08T20:33:38.669-07:0018 Weeks Today Short UpdateIn five days we have our next ultrasound and OB appointment. I've amassed a plethora of questions for the OB, gathered through contact with friends and the forces of the internet. I found an awesome closed group on Facebook called "Birthing Multiples Naturally" which is full of great information, goodwill, photos, and positive stories. Even when things go not as planned, the outcomes are still healthy babies. It's an inspiration with moms from all over the world.<br />
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The genders should be known to us soon if A&B
are agreeable at the next appointment, but we're not going to be
spreading the word until we are back to see our families around the 3rd
of May. As well this next ultrasound is the really intense one where
they look for any anatomical irregularities. It will be nice to have that appointment done. <br />
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[[THERE'S A POLL TO YOUR RIGHT IF YOU WANT TO MAKE A GUESS]]<br />
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With
all the research I've done, I'm feeling more hopeful for a
non-medicated birth if things are situated okay with Baby A and Baby B.
We will just have to go along and see how things go. <br />
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As of today:<br />
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Weight Gain: 11 lbs<br />
Activities: Yoga, Biking, Walking, Hiking<br />
Food: Vegetarian plus fish for the babes and prenatals<br />
Mood: Relaxed and healthy, though I can tell I'm starting to walk differently<br />
Clothes: Some still fit. The pants are getting a little more tricky. Ordered maternity clothes and regular fold down yoga pants for the coming weeks.<br />
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Onward and upward!! :) <br />
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<br />Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08912250240558051399noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676529006668068419.post-51353816039231498892015-03-29T09:33:00.002-07:002015-03-29T09:35:48.786-07:00Quiet Morning Lake Quinault: Peace has Settled InCozied in under the covers last night in our room overlooking Lake Quinault, trying to read my Northwest Gardening book to figure out what to plant and where in our newly barren yard, my eyes could not stay straight. Rolling into the back of my head over and over. You are going to sleep now, they protested. I didn't have much say. What can you do when your eyes are rolling backwards on their own accord?<br />
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It was only 8:30. </div>
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I decided to give up. By 9, I was in another world. Justin beside me reading in the dark. Bailey zonked out on the floor. He has no qualms about sleeping anytime or too much. Unlike us over-productive humans. </div>
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My dreams have switched tone in the last two weeks, thankfully. Night after night, I'd been dragged through vivid nightmares. From break-ins, to homeless people living with us swimming in the river behind our house. Avoiding semi-automatic weapon gunfire. Drinking cider beers and forgetting I was pregnant. Long drawn out, colorful dreams, persistent in their disconcerting nature. I almost dreaded sleep. </div>
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But the last few nights, they've been colorful but more amusing. Like a lady whose maroon curly hair (only part of her hair was a wig) got caught on my phoropter (the thing that has all the lenses in it in front of your face to check your glasses) and hung off the top when I pulled it away from her eyes. It was funny, and oddly amusing and so colorful. It makes me happy to remember it.</div>
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I wake up on my back with my arms above my head, fingers intertwined like I'm praying, or maybe in my mind I'm out in the grass in a field looking up at the blue sky. I always know I'm relaxed when I wake up like that. It's weird, like babies sleep and I've only done this in the last few years since dating Justin. I wonder what we do at night. </div>
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So some sort of inner calm has settled in. Maybe I'm finally relaxing into the pregnancy. It only took three months to relax. I'd guess this might be normal. </div>
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We're happy to have this retreat from Portland. After months of adjustments to reality, endless efforts on the house, we deserved a getaway.</div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-BTfmvFKdW3E/VRgljVjWeHI/AAAAAAAAPX8/YXBvLLpcCcY/s1600/front%2Byard.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-BTfmvFKdW3E/VRgljVjWeHI/AAAAAAAAPX8/YXBvLLpcCcY/s1600/front%2Byard.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Charlie can't stop working in the yard. </td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-HvXRHkAbFL4/VRglqcTWSUI/AAAAAAAAPYE/sBPsK_kuqOY/s1600/kitchen%2Bfloor%2Bhardwood.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-HvXRHkAbFL4/VRglqcTWSUI/AAAAAAAAPYE/sBPsK_kuqOY/s1600/kitchen%2Bfloor%2Bhardwood.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The floors will be sanded and finished on Thursday.</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-36ZofkmJ8Yo/VRgpL6HYMOI/AAAAAAAAPYQ/3iWJyN8FCFs/s1600/belly%2B16.5-%2Bcropped.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-36ZofkmJ8Yo/VRgpL6HYMOI/AAAAAAAAPYQ/3iWJyN8FCFs/s1600/belly%2B16.5-%2Bcropped.jpg" height="320" width="256" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">16.5 Weeks.</td></tr>
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Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08912250240558051399noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676529006668068419.post-5517858829179050592015-03-26T20:11:00.002-07:002015-03-26T20:14:21.700-07:00The Calm in the Storm of Twins- & Flashback to 10 week Twin Ultrasound with Interpretation<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-t1MGcth9fsE/VRS3uivHTRI/AAAAAAAAPXg/9ZTsrj-7qec/s1600/ultrasound.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-t1MGcth9fsE/VRS3uivHTRI/AAAAAAAAPXg/9ZTsrj-7qec/s1600/ultrasound.JPG" height="295" width="400" /></a><span style="text-align: start;"><i>Ultrasound from week 10. This one is interesting because it shows both at once. Twin A (on my left side) will be the presenting twin (born first), because s/he is lower. If Twin A is larger (which s/he has been all along by about 2-3 days), then a vaginal birth will be attempted and possible, no matter what the presentation of Twin B is. Twin B can be manipulated in the womb if breach or transverse.</i></span></blockquote>
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A lot of the hard work is done. We hired a doula who specializes in twins. She has forty twin births under her belt with only four c-sections. We've found a birthing class nine blocks from our home and a Dads 101 class for Justin. I found prenatal yoga classes near our house. We have a good OB lined up who also had twins (though we are not guaranteed her for delivery). I've have made it through several twin books. Friends have offered a crib, and a double bob stroller. Baby clothes and maternity clothes. And love and support. And excitement.
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The kitchen will be done next week. Today they installed the hardwoods.
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I've gained about seven pounds now. And there's enough out front that patients have actually asked if I was pregnant. At sixteen weeks with twins, you're not exactly flat anymore.
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Monday was my day off. I hopped on my old 1979 Schwinn which I'd recently outfitted with new tires, brakes and cables and pedaled up the hill. The wind and rain questioned my choice of transportation. I could barely get up the tiny hill next to our house. But I moved forward. Intrepid. Dressed head to toe in rain gear. Even rain boots and rain gloves. After a quick stop at the Community Cycling Center where they adjusted my brakes, I coasted down the hill to the Albina Library.
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It was quiet day aside from an appointment at 2:00 with my counselor. Who ironically also has twins (which I didn't know until recently). Adopted. With nine days notice. They had just decided they didn't need to have kids, and weren't even in the process of adoption when it basically fell into their laps. Suddenly they had two daughters. The girls are 18 now, and everything turned out fine. It made me thankful that we likely have 6-7 months to prepare.
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Afterward, I glided down Ankeney Street toward Sizzle Pie Pizza on Burnside to redeem my free slice from a donation to the Give Guide. With my bike locked up outside, I plopped my green backpack on the table and picked out a tofu olive pizza. It was okay. But as I sat there, I thought how much I was enjoying my freedom. How I should savor these months. Soon this will come to an end. Riding around and doing what I want. Watching people. Enjoying the world.
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I've been told that I should stop riding my bike. In case I fall off and damage my babies. I am planning to ride until I feel that my balance is compromised. Plus I only ride on quiet streets and not fast. I guess I figure I could get in a car accident. Fall down the stairs. Fall walking. Or slip in the shower. I could wear full body armor and a stomach protector. But I am just going to live my life instead and hope for the best. I'm pretty sturdy. I'm sure my kids will be too.
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We found a few people off Craig's list to come and take away most (about 15-20) of our overgrown plants in the yard. Justin and I have dug up the front yard and planted seedlings inside. We might go a little overboard this year. Then we can decide if we need to scale back and put a patch of grass in the front yard. Justin thinks we need a patch of grass for the little Charlies to sit in while we garden. He might be right.
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It's weird to imagine going from "us" two to "us" four. I just have no idea what it will be like. I'm sure everyone who has had kids before me has gone through this thought process. As well, the experience of my body changing into something else as it's creating two little beings. I would've never understood had I not experienced it. How we create other little people from such a small bit of cells. And then it somehow works out. It's pretty amazing.
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I'm starting a writing class this week. Probably the last in a while. Carrie and Justin and I and the dogs are headed to the rainforest this weekend for a getaway and hiking.
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We're just planning to enjoy ourselves and our little life for now. And hope for the best.Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08912250240558051399noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676529006668068419.post-14777490263260930752015-03-20T18:27:00.000-07:002015-03-21T10:37:39.448-07:00Another Strange Omen (before I knew I was pregnant): A Thank You Letter for Our First Pregnancy Gift I donated to the<a href="http://www.babybluesconnection.org/bbc/"> Baby Blues Connection</a> through the <a href="http://www.wweek.com/portland/article-23813-give_guide_2014_results.html">Give Guide</a>. Every year since 2004, one of our local alternative papers, the Willamette Week, conducts a donation drive. I usually enjoy picking out places to send a little money. This year, I went a little overboard and chose about 20-30 non-profits. <br />
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Back in December 2014, a while after I donated, an emailed showed up from <a href="http://www.babybluesconnection.org/bbc/">Baby Blues Connection</a> that I’d won an art print they were giving away.<br />
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Here's the thank you I sent them: </div>
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<i>January 22, 2015</i><br />
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<i>Hi,<br /><br />I donated to the Baby Blues Connection through the Give Guide. And then later heard from you guys that I’d won one of the prints you were giving away.<br /><br />It arrived in the mail - I opened it and thought, hmm, wonder what I should do with this? Maybe I should give it to my sister who is pregnant in Minnesota. But she would probably not hang it up. It’s not her style.<br /><br />So I just put it back in the envelope and stuck it under the Christmas tree.<br /><br />About two weeks after, I was pretty late with my period. I finally decided to take a pregnancy test the morning I was flying out of town to see my partner’s family in North Carolina.<br /><br />It was positive.<br /><br />We’d been trying for a few months.<br /><br />I got on the plane and wondered at the news I’d discovered.<br /><br />I thought I could keep it a secret until our anniversary, but I told my partner the next day. He was so surprised, happy, and couldn’t believe he would be a daddy.<br /><br />About a week later I remembered the pregnant lady print that I’d won, and thought how strange it was that I won it right before I found out. (And was actually pregnant at the time you sent it.)<br /><br />We are 7 weeks along, which is not much. But I somehow feel that print was a good omen.<br /><br />And now I know what to do with it.<br /><br />Anyway, just wanted to say thanks.<br /><br />And you gave me the first “mom” gift that I’ve ever received.<br /><br />Keep doing your good things.<br /><br />Sara</i></div>
Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08912250240558051399noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676529006668068419.post-31561802298370271042015-03-13T15:43:00.001-07:002015-03-20T18:44:57.532-07:00The Kolache Pregnancy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The night before our first ultrasound I got the urge to make Kolaches. A czech sweet bun with a prune filling. When we were kids, my grandma Agnes would make them for us at Christmas or for the holidays. The sweet bread mixed with fruit wafting from a hot bun. A touch of butter on the top. I pulled up my recipe and dug out the old Osterizer that my mom had found for us from a Goodwill years ago. I thought I didn't need it. I thought liked doing everything by hand. But I was wrong. The old Osterizer is beloved. <br />
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I'd thought kolaches would be a perfect pregnancy food because they had prunes and wheat buns. My mom said prunes daily would be a good thing. <br />
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The Osterizer on the counter, and the few ingredients ready, I went to work. Substituting whole wheat flour for white. Oh I didn't have real sugar. But coconut sugar would do. No milk but we had oat milk. So many substitutions I wondered if I had veered too far off track. Would all whole wheat flour rise? Would they taste weird? <br />
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Turns out they were perfect. I'd channeled Grandma Agnes' baking genes and made perfect hippie Kolaches. I look now at the picture and think, there were three of us there. Who would have thought? <br />
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The kolaches were made on Sunday night. By Wednesday they were almost gone. Maybe Sunday will be baking day for the three of us each week. Time to connect with the Czech roots. <br />
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<br />Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08912250240558051399noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676529006668068419.post-13533027028283422432015-03-09T11:01:00.001-07:002015-03-09T11:07:35.390-07:00The Hat Fairy (Good Omens)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<b>The Day After We Found Out We Were Having Twins</b><br />
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I arrived at work in our North Vancouver clinic. By chance of fate perhaps, I ended up back here in Vancouver (just north of Portland across the border in Washington) in a clinic that I worked in about 10-12 years ago last time I was at Kaiser. Working with Rose Marie, who I worked with from 2002-2003, when I was a new hire at Kaiser. She was and is like my mom at work and a best friend. A rock and true confidant. When I returned I never dreamed we'd get to work together again. But we do. Two days a week.
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This morning I arrived at work with my three little ultrasound pictures in my green waterproof backpack. The one I used to travel the world. And now I am back. I knew she would be excited.
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"Come in here." I said. We hid in the exam room with the door shut. Whispering.
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"Look what I have."
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I pulled out my pictures from my lab coat. She didn't recognize at first what she was seeing.
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"It's two."
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"Oh my god. I just got hot shivers everywhere." She rubbed my belly. (She is the only one who has done this. And it is fine with me.)
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I told her how my mom had thought it was twins from the start because I was so nauseous.
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We hurried out and I started my first patient. I finished a second and came out in the hallway.
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The other optometry assistant, Kyla, who was also born in 1976 and just had her first baby last year, is staring at me with huge eyes. "Do you know anyone who is expecting!?"
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I looked at Rose Marie. What is happening? Did she tell?
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Her eyes gave nothing away. Rose Marie wouldn't spill a secret to Jesus. It wasn't her.
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"I know two." I said. "Why?"
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"I have these hats from the hat fairy. She just gave them to me." Kyla said.
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I still felt like it was a set up. What the hell?
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"Come here" I led her to an exam room.
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"It's you." Kyla whispered.<br />
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"Yep."
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I showed her the ultrasound.
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"It's two." She was the first one to recognize it right away. "The hat fairy was one of our patients. She makes hats to give away anonymously to babies. She gave me one hat to give away. Then I said, 'Can I have two?' I don't even know why I asked that. These are for you."
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A pink hat and a neutral rainbow hat.
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After a night filled with anxiety where I slept only two hours, I felt like the universe was giving me a sign that it was going to be okay. I breathed out and decided I could handle it and the twins were going to be fine. The only question I had was, "What am I going to do with a pink hat?" But maybe someone else knows more than I do. Or I'll just put a little boy in a pink hat. ;)<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-pZLNUHkwvfQ/VP3fmI_hFUI/AAAAAAAAPU4/v5Oy8viUFRY/s1600/11051240_10152979423051655_468824716_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-pZLNUHkwvfQ/VP3fmI_hFUI/AAAAAAAAPU4/v5Oy8viUFRY/s1600/11051240_10152979423051655_468824716_n.jpg" height="320" width="234" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Oatie zonked at coffee</td></tr>
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<br />Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08912250240558051399noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6676529006668068419.post-12842401745891810392015-03-03T20:55:00.000-08:002015-03-05T20:42:04.636-08:00The First Ultrasound. (IT'S TWINS!) 2/9/2015The big day had arrived. February 9th, 2015. Our first ObGyn appointment.<br />
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I could barely sleep even the day before, waking up at 6:45, thinking about the next day. Like I was waiting for Santa to bring me my goodies.<br />
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We rolled out of bed at 7:30 in time to get to Kaiser by 8:00. We inched down the side streets in Justin's Suburu toward the clinic I worked at for years my last go around in Portland. It seemed like it was taking forever to get there. I was worried we'd be late. But we were on time, and there was ample space in the parking garage.<br />
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The lady checked us in. "We don't know where to go."<br />
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"Down the hall, first waiting room on your left."<br />
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We were the only ones there. After a while a pregnant lady emerged from the door. I stared and tried to imagine myself in her shoes. <br />
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After sitting for about ten minutes, they called my name. I felt a little like we were in the wrong place. What if I wasn't really pregnant? What was going to happen? We followed the nurse back as I nervously chattered about nothing.<br />
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The intake nurse covered the basics: The father's name and age, last menstrual period, pertinent history, weight and blood pressure. We spent about forty five minutes talking about nothing. She went over a food diagram, telling me to eat vegetables and whatnot. Documented exercise. She said I was healthy and was right on track. "So many patients ask me, "Where's the french fries on this diagram? Where's the chips?" I don't eat those anyway. I told her I was having problems getting food down. I didn't like broccoli anymore.<br />
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Next we were ushered into an exam room down the hall. The medical assistant led us into the cramped room. I could barely see a place to sit down my backpack. Justin found a chair crammed next to the exam table. "Take all your clothes off and sit on the exam room table."<br />
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It was the first time anyone was with me in an ObGyn appointment.<br />
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I was worried I was going to be embarrassed. But I didn't care. <br />
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I piled all my clothes up and gave them to Justin. "I see your butt." He said.<br />
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Who wouldn't in that gown that was big enough for three of me?<br />
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The feeling of sitting in an exam room naked and exposed with your partner next to you, ignorance exposed, not knowing what is next. We joked and waited wondering how it would go.<br />
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Our nurse practitioner came in. Ruddy curly hair going in every direction. A white lab coat, kinda big and glasses. The disarray made me nervous.<br />
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She introduced herself. And asked a few questions. There was a quick and discrete breast exam. And then the pelvic. I told Justin what they did beforehand as a warning. It was all very fast.<br />
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She dimmed the lights and pulled over a machine.<br />
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Being completely stupid, we didn't know what was happening.<br />
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"Are you ready for the ultrasound?" She brandished a white wand in her hand.<br />
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"I didn't even know they were doing to do that today." I had wanted to ask but didn't.<br />
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She inserted the wand and we all watched the screen.<br />
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I was half expecting her to tell me I wasn't even pregnant. It would be sort of embarrassing. But I'm sure it's happened before.<br />
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A dark hole appeared on the screen with something inside it. She moved it around again and we saw it from another angle. It seemed like we were pregnant.<br />
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"Do you see what I see?" The wild haired lady asked us.<br />
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"Uhh, a baby?" We were confused. We hoped it was a baby. <br />
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There was a pause.<br />
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"It's two."<br />
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Tears were rolling out of my eyes. I covered my face. This wasn't really happening was it?<br />
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All that nausea starting at three weeks. Instantly sore breasts.<br />
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My mom saying, "I think it's twins." Thinking she was crazy.<br />
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Justin sat in the corner quietly crying too. I felt so dissociated. A different person. An alternate reality. Where was I? This wasn't really happening. It seemed so fake. So unreal.<br />
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"One measures 9 weeks 5 days, one 9 weeks 3 days." One appeared to be dancing. <br />
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"Oh shit." We said.<br />
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She said, "I know it's shocking. It will take some time to get used to it. You can still have a healthy pregnancy. But they won't let you go past 38 weeks. Most twin pregnancies deliver at 36-38 weeks."<br />
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I guess we weren't gonna have to have the oldest kid in school after all.<br />
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I started imagining a giant belly and birth complications.<br />
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"The only thing is that you've gone from a healthy normal pregnancy to a high risk pregnancy. You'll probably have to meet with some of the MDs and we'll establish a team to take care of you."<br />
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"How were the heartbeats?" I asked.<br />
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"They were both good. In the 180s I'd guess. I forgot to tell you- I was distracted by there being two. "<br />
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Well that was good. Two heartbeats. Two babies. Two placentas. Separated by a wall. Most likely fraternal.<br />
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She said goodbye. <br />
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The medical assistant returned, "I heard you got the BOGO offer!" We all roared with laughter. Just what we needed.<br />
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Our visit was done. We walked out stunned and dazed.<br />
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We had a 1.67% chance of a natural twin pregnancy (meaning we were not on fertility), accounting also for our older age which increased the risk.<br />
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<br />Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08912250240558051399noreply@blogger.com4