Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Dying a little bit more each day

It’s not a joke
It’s real
I am
And you are
So are the trees and the stars

It’s not just a depressing 
Seeping through your blood
Drying you up inside

Wishing for your own demise
When you’re standing underneath
The showerhead

Hot water won’t wash it away
It’s the truth.

We are all dying a little inside
Every day.

Monday, June 25, 2012

On Traveling, from Africa Solo

"My anxieties lightened as we went along, a sense of relief and surety building throughout the day. I  found myself increasingly happy to be moving south, away from the  crowded coast. The bus cruised along for hours, stopping in the little farming towns and I kept thinking, I am going. Now I am really going. I felt like an adventurer, researcher, and time traveler , all rolled into one. I felt like a diver bouncing high at the edge of a board, ready to fly into some wondrous dive. Having moved beyond my foreseeable plans, I began to feel the thrill of truly exploring."     - from Africa Solo, by Kevin Kertscher.
I remember thinking almost those same thoughts when I was on the back of a pick up truck converted to a bus in rural southern Thailand heading south... And now, the thoughts could be construed to have meaning in my life back in the states. It doesn't matter much what or where I am going, just that I am going... and feeling the thrill of being alive now.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Medical Care Corruption

Being a medical provider, I find it morally offensive that someone would ask me to deliberately mislead a patient in hopes that they will purchase something that they do not need so that a business can line their pockets with some extra cash.

This has been a theme with a long history in my field and in many medical fields.

When medical care became business and money centered, it ceased to select the best advice for the patient. It became commerce. It became about the bottom line.

When a patient is told they need a procedure or device by a trusted medical provider, it is probably not without some reservations that they would decline the treatment. After all, who wants to wrong their body?

But when the drivers of healthcare are companies concerned primarily with profits and way down the line with healthcare, what do you expect? 

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Back on the Outer Banks [for now]

Whispering breezes, birds singing & clanking windcatchers-
it's cold out on the porch in Buxton. 

A few days ago, I was nervous about returning, and starting work again. Anxiety about finding an apartment and the whole thing. One of these days I think that life will feel more settled, but I'm not sure.

Olden days, revisited for my birthday.
I haven't cross-stitched in 18 years.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Bonnaroo aftermath

Herein lies a plethora of pictures. I have some thoughts on Bonnaroo. Mostly that it was more laid back than I figured it would be, and by the end I was sad to be leaving the little oasis in the countryside of Manchester, TN, where wifi and cell service eluded us for about five days... a welcome reprieve from the daily grind. (Still need a break from the daily grind when unemployed.) Now we're heading back East to Buxton and soon I'll be in the throes of optometric life again, earning some wages and flipping some dials. Transitioning again.

The infamous mushroom, day one.
 Trendy trucks
Cool as shade 
Kava and meat 
 John Deere strikes again
 The boy and his shirt designs
Loving the arch 

 Alabama Shakes--- the 60's revived!
Robot man 

 Smuggled beers
 Waiting for Radiohead
 Been watching for Radiohead near me for over 10 years

 Mos Def

Charles Bradley is the man 
 Blind Pilot I (PDX band)
Hot stuff 
 Love a man in a kilt 

 View of general admission from the VIP area
Take 2 
 Script tattoos are all the rage

 Blind Pilot II
 Sleeping babes

 Wish Sitting Bull was still around
 A SURPRISE visit from Lionel Ritchie during Kenny Rogers' show!
 Bon Iver - amazing
 Bonnaroo: not for the crowd phobes. About 80-90,000 attendees.

 Jealous of the blue hair 

 Running with chairs!
 Dancing in the streets

 Playing with glowing balls


It was this man's on the right first Phish concert. His son took him--- they danced the whole time! 

Aftermath in GA 




 Haven't had a TV for at least 5 years. No sadness here.

Asheville coffee shop, Double Ds 

Heading home... :((((