Sunday, March 29, 2015

Quiet Morning Lake Quinault: Peace has Settled In

Cozied in under the covers last night in our room overlooking Lake Quinault, trying to read my Northwest Gardening book to figure out what to plant and where in our newly barren yard, my eyes could not stay straight. Rolling into the back of my head over and over. You are going to sleep now, they protested. I didn't have much say. What can you do when your eyes are rolling backwards on their own accord?

It was only 8:30. 

I decided to give up. By 9, I was in another world. Justin beside me reading in the dark. Bailey zonked out on the floor. He has no qualms about sleeping anytime or too much. Unlike us over-productive humans. 

My dreams have switched tone in the last two weeks, thankfully. Night after night, I'd been dragged through vivid nightmares. From break-ins, to homeless people living with us swimming in the river behind our house. Avoiding semi-automatic weapon gunfire. Drinking cider beers and forgetting I was pregnant. Long drawn out, colorful dreams, persistent in their disconcerting nature. I almost dreaded sleep. 

But the last few nights, they've been colorful but more amusing. Like a lady whose maroon curly hair  (only part of her hair was a wig) got caught on my phoropter (the thing that has all the lenses in it in front of your face to check your glasses) and hung off the top when I pulled it away from her eyes.  It was funny, and oddly amusing and so colorful. It makes me happy to remember it.

I wake up on my back with my arms above my head, fingers intertwined like I'm praying, or maybe in my mind I'm out in the grass in a field looking up at the blue sky. I always know I'm relaxed when I wake up like that. It's weird, like babies sleep and I've only done this in the last few years since dating Justin. I wonder what we do at night. 

So some sort of inner calm has settled in. Maybe I'm finally relaxing into the pregnancy. It only took three months to relax. I'd guess this might be normal. 

We're happy to have this retreat from Portland. After months of adjustments to reality, endless efforts on the house, we deserved a getaway.

Charlie can't stop working in the yard. 

The floors will be sanded and finished on Thursday.
16.5 Weeks.

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