First snow

Drizzling rain turns into an Iowa snow globe

While we sip whiskeys by the window.
Good acoustics, I said.

I judge restaurants on sound quality.
Hushed murmurs, a fuzzy welcoming blanket

Inviting conversation & calm.

Anything else, jarring & cold.

Days on the computer, digging in files.

The data needed to achieve employment.

I think, I am not going to do this again.

I hope I love the VA.

Disorganized boxes stifle me, and I think

I understand why people never move.

It is not going to get better any time soon.

But I'm home for Christmas

And that is good enough.

JC comes to town, and moves in with Sara!

It's her 4-year-old dream come true. And he talks too, but is sorta fixated on political things. But nonetheless, I'm happy to have the company in the bleak blackness of a Germany winter.


He's so photogenic:
Safety first! Riding to the ski place...

Jimmy playin' around on the cross-country skis.

Bathtime!

Taking a nap after the hard workout.

Makin' tea for him and me!

A little night (afternoon) music. He loves Christmas songs.

No one can stop our fun!

Of course I shared Vino with Jimmy after he was so entertaining!

I love Jimmy.

Langski laufen in Deutschland

Normally I go skiing at a golf course in Königstein, about 10 minutes from my house by car. Yesterday, I mostly went into the woods, following the trails of the bunnies and other animals. It was dreamy, and I doubt that I'll be returning much to the track skiing. These photos are a mix of the two places.

Cuttin' trail.

Just me. And the trees.

Boobs in the snow.

I was trying to get the snow in my hair, because it was swirling around in such a magical way, but not so easy to self-photo.

I thought I needed to dye my hair red, but I think it's already sort of that way. Funny how we change into different people through the years. I also gave myself a haircut, and I'm pretty happy with it.

On the golfcourse.

Cold to the bone, but happy

There is no joking about Winter this year. It's reminiscent of my childhood in Minnesota, mostly. Flakes daily, fluffy and puffy. So much white. I wonder how to see anything with so little contrast. How would I paint it? Trees stand out amidst the white sky and fields as I follow trails groomed through the golf course. Where am I going on my cross country skis? In circles, on an 8km track. Little Germans pass by, compact muscular legs, serious in their skiing, not stopping to ponder the lack of color in the world, or the build up of flakes in their hair, making it appear red and fuzzy at the same time. They are fastidious in their exercise, winter or summer. It's interesting, and different, and I am not sure if I will miss it or not next year when I leave.

What I do know is that I've found pleasure in the whiteness, the watching, the peace of winter. Whether it's sitting in front of my window watching the cold precipitation flurry around outside, or driving on the snow shaded roads, or sliding through the snow on my red skis which I noticed today form hearts at the tips where the snow sticks and builds up. I have found my my heart again this winter and I have found winter in my heart.

What happens in winter in Germany

Fun Story:
You head for the Amsterdam airport at about 4pm to catch your 7pm flight, even though it's a bit early. Oh well. Once at the airport, you wait. The plane leaves late for München, where you have the connecting flight to Nürnberg. You wonder if you'll make the connection but tell yourself worrying does no good. You booked your flight to Nürnberg because it's approx 40 minute drive to your house, or one hour, depending.

You're know you're going to be quite late, and you may have missed your connection, but the pilot announces that finally you've been cleared for landing in München. The planes starts its descent. You see lights. You are happy.

The lights disappear. You wonder what is happening. A while later, the pilot announces, "München has closed its two runways. They're too slippery. The air traffic controllers have found another airport to land in, one that is nearby and at least it is in Germany." Scheiß, you think. You know it's bad when the pilot thinks it's great that they managed to land the plane in the correct country. Only in Europe...

Three and a half hours after the flight left, you land in Stuttgart. The flight was supposed to be 70 minutes. The pilot announces, "No one wanted this and we are very sorry, but we have safely landed in Stuttgart."

Photo Documentation of the Fun Experience:
The line at the airport to reschedule. Approx 30 minutes per person and TWO Lufthansa employees assisting everyone. Fortunately you were at the front of the line and already knew a train was your best option.

Stuttgart. From the Movenpick hotel. Isn't it beautiful?

Your look of wonderment at your unplanned visit to Stuttgart Airport.

The happy welcome ducky. It makes you happy.

The Stuttgart Train station.

You got up at 4:45AM after going to bed at 1AM, but you are still happy. No one will stop this smile.


Finally you arrive at your car. You are so happy.

You fall before you even get to your car. Here is your look of shock. You are not smiling anymore. You think this winter shit which showed up while you were on holiday might not be as fun as it looks.

Damn snow.

Driving home. It takes 2 hours. You just focus on keeping your 4 pound car on the road. Telling yourself that you know how to drive in this white shit. And you will get to work. Safely.

Just outside of post, right where you live. Where the roads are smaller.

You finally get to work at 10AM. 18 hours after you left for the airport in Amsterdam. Two hours after you arrive at work, they close the post and you go home. What a journey. You think it is going to be a long winter. And it's only just begun.

Welcoming Darkness

Winter looming, dark thoughts invade,
worming in, intent on plunging you
into that seasonal anxiety.
Oh god, winter. Dark, black, death, cold.
There's no way to fend off the impending bleak days.

Yet, in this change of seasons comes
the search for external warmth.
Someone to crawl into
on a starry extended night.
Heavy blankets which insist
you into a sleep coma.
[It's not like you could roll over under all that weight anyway.]

When else are showers transcendent experiences?
Scalding water, testing your heat tolerance,
rolling off your lashes, dripping over your lips,
sliding along your body.
Steaming your core into submission.

This is going to be good, winter.

Why, it's an excuse to notch down,
hunker in silence
and trailing thoughts.
Letting peace and quiet have its way with you.

Training plan

I've finally decided I would commit to a plan. Ok so it might have been helpful to do this earlier on, but... I am sort of a half-assed planner. I plan, but I like flying by the seat of my pants.

It goes something like this:
Mon: spinning class, stretching
Tues: med paced run, stretching
Wed: spinning class, stretching
Thur: long run (aka death night), stretching
Fri: weights, yoga, stretching
Sat: army training
Sun: weights, yoga, stretching
(Rest can be any of the days that I feel like I've done enough. But I like going to the gym, so...)

I've decided if I'm working for the army, I want to qualify with 100s on my fitness test for my sex and age group. That means 2 miles in 15:54, which I almost did today (I included three minutes of slower running as a warm-up, so didn't quite make the mark.) 76 sit-ups, which I SUCK AT, and 45 push-ups, which I will think will be doable fairly soon. The sit-ups and push-ups have to be done in two minutes. I have a lot of work to do.

They're having this weigh-in weight loss challenge through our clinic which starts next week and ends June 14th. Everyone seems to be signed up, so I figured I should join the club. Then all the girls will go to spinning with me! By the way, getting in shape post-30, sucks the big one!! :) But I keep trying.

I'm also sick of winter. I want to run outside. I woke up this morning and seriously wondered what that white stuff was still doing outside my window. Go away, snow!