What is the web (especially Facebook) but a place to expose yourself? Where we present the self we want to be. The projection of the perfect us. There's some camaraderie in sharing the things we do, and maybe it helps retain relationships. But is it at the expense of living real life? I wonder. I'm feeling some restraint with Facebook, not wanting to glamorize my life, and tell all to everyone. It's my life, and not everyone has to know everything. My blog is the back door. Only some people know about it, so it feels more private.
Tomorrow we celebrate the fourth of July. I never know what to think of this holiday. This evening we watched a show called Copperhead, about the people who opposed the civil war who were called Copperheads. Rather than warring against our neighbors, they said, "Love thy neighbor as thy self." It doesn't seem that things are all that different now from then. It's still the North and the South. The Republicans and the Democrats. The black and the white. The men and the women. The rich and the poor. We war against our neighbors. So divided.
But I sit on the couch with my boyfriend from the south. He recognizes a slave hymn when he hears it. He knows the history. He lived in Georgia and NY and up and down the Eastern seaboard. He has an experience that is not mine. The blending of society brings me some hope.
We bought a house yesterday. We both panicked and were up off and on all night. I woke up and panicked more. Buyers remorse is a life-long affliction I carry. I remember buying my Mini Cooper, thinking I paid too much, that it was a mistake. Not a day goes by that I'm not happy to see my little happy aqua car sitting there waiting for me. It's carried me across countries, continents, and the USA while providing charm and affordable transportation. So I hold that in my heart and apply it to the house.
Pending inspection and financing, we'll have our own place starting mid-August. We're equipped with a extra bedroom and bathroom with privacy in a finished basement, so company is welcome anytime for any length of time. It's a little 1939 English cottage, carefully remodeled to period in a nice neighborhood central to all of East Portland and easily bikeable to everything we enjoy. It's the same size as my other two houses, but more on the cozy side like my first house. As we were leaving yesterday, we found a lucky quarter heads up at the end of the walkway. One of the owners names was Keith. I took those as signs. Molly said, "I think you buy the house you are meant to buy." I hope she's right.
So we are settling in. Calming down. And everything is good. Justin's planning to go home to visit North Carolina in August for about a month. I'll miss having him here next to me, but I can fill my time with girlfriends, outdoors and reading. We plan to ship our stuff out from my mom's house with a U-haul U-box if possible. I will try to fly back and load it and see my nieces at the same time. They pick up and deliver for a very reasonable rate compared to any other shipping method. We're looking forward to having a place to ourselves and places to put our stuff.