Led by the glowing wicker bedside lamp, I find my spot under the covers, clutching my William Stafford book for safety. Oatie's whining, trying to crawl in bed with us. He skitters to my side of the bed whimpering and squeaking. Picking him up is like trying to grasp a fish. He's all wiggly and legs going every direction. Somehow I land him on the bed and he digs under the covers to lick my leg before he casts off this world for the inner world of dogs.
We lay in the shadows. Quiet at night, I'm always happy to sleep next to Justin. It's the best time of the day - resting and letting the days' worries slip away. He's always good about bringing up the things I'm too scared to talk about. The old Czech-German-Norwegian lady in me is not always the best at direct communication. Stoic is not the best way to approach a relationship.
He says, "Sometimes I feel like my life is a top spinning out of control." I said mine looks the same. But together we make sense. He wants to plan where the future goes. I think we are fine just going day to day and following the path as it's laid out in front of us, keeping our eyes and hearts open to the direction we're being led. Believing in the world and our abilities to deal with what is handed to us will lead us forward into the future. I trust in us.