Alternate realities

Screaming inside
We get nowhere.
Talking in circles
Pipe dreams of
What family is.
Dreaming that
They will suddenly turn into
The TV mom and dad and grandparents
Who take care of you
And your kids
And make cookies
And support you.

It's fine to have a rosy memory
Of childhood.
But to live in the past
Is dangerous.
To be stuck in your ways
Is death.

I wonder sometimes
If we are on the same path
But walking alone.
We plan things
Separately.
Kind of together
But not really.

Sometimes I feel like running
Like I am trapped
And can't make a choice
No discussions.
They lead to a dead end.

In the moment
Everything is good.
In the moment
Nothing is wrong.

I don't know how it will go forward.
I don't know how we will figure it out.
I am hoping we can.

I wish someone could tell me how to do it.