I feel weird, like I could stay here forever. I'm so calm. I don't know if I've ever been at peace like this. Or if I was, I can't recall. Perhaps it was the perfect storm of getting sick again, slowing down, losing my travel companion and finding a quiet guesthouse on the river. I haven't really done anything for five days. It's sinful in most Western cultures to be this lazy. In these Asian cultures, they work every day also, all day. But not at the breakneck pace of the Western world. They have times of leisure. When there is not work, they sit and wait. Maybe that's why the Eastern parts of the world seem more spiritual than us.
I can't help but slip into contemplation. I'm trying to set some plans for the next few months of the year. A week ago, I was so sad to lose Carrie that all I could think of was to return to the States. Now I am so calm, I feel like I could stay away for years more. The options can be paralyzing or freeing. I think I'll choose to think of them as freeing and not cement anything just yet.