Moving day- long and preceded by a night of sleeplessness and nightmares.

The door buzzed at 8:15. I was in a dead sleep with pillow marks on my face. Three Germans entered with varying degrees of English. They scattered about into three separate rooms and started packing like mad without conversation. Even though I had all my items grouped together and labeled, things were intermixed and unclear and placed without much thought into boxes. I ran around with my Sharpie trying to mark what I could so we'd know what was inside when it reaches USA. I'd bet that items will arrive broken in this shipment, as the detail and care was about half as much as the two Americans who packed it on the way over. The German work ethic is different, with about four half hour smoke breaks in the morning, things packed willy-nilly without any sort of real apparent order (some pictures boxed, some bubble-wrapped). I kept pointing out valuable items, but my confidence in this shipment is much less than on the way over.

 

Once finished. my movers hauled all the boxes out the the curb and into Ernst and Helga's front yard. I was alarmed at the amount of stuff I had and decided I needed a therapist to deal with my consumerist problem. At the last minute, I plucked additional items from the shipment to sell off today or tomorrow. They carried the piano and crated it. (That item, I have confidence.)

 

The truck to pick up the goods was scheduled to arrive at 1PM.

 

The truck arrived at 6:30PM.

 

In about 15 minutes, all my stuff was in the truck, filling about 1/5 of the container. An ADAC (like AAA) truck arrived to lift my car into the truck. Definitely the most exciting part of the load. After the car was inside and tied down, all of us waved goodbye and sealed and locked the container. I received my shipping inventory and bid them goodbye. Even with the car inside, there was still an extra third left, at least. I felt better about my consumer problems and decided I was not a horrible person after all.

 

Ernst was about all day, watching and making crying gestures to his face. The neighbors showed up and stood at the bed of the truck. I watched and took pictures. Helga was away for the day.

 

Last night I camped on a sleeping pad in the hallway with a blanket and my headlamp to read by. In the middle of the night, I awoke freezing, and found leggings, capris, socks and a sweatshirt to warm up. (And even then I was still cold, but fell back asleep.)

 

This morning, Ernst and Helga came up and did the final walk through and presented me with an envelope filled with 900E and some change. (my return deposit). Helga again offered if I need anything to ask them (she looked like she was about to cry). I said, maybe an extra blanket. So she brought me a down comforter of her daughter Doris', and offered an extra pillow.

 

What I've realised is that people like to help. My friend Katherine gave me her spare car. Lots of others have rallied around, helping with customs issues and whatever else comes up. I just have to remember to reach out. Though stressful, it has been also a reaffirming experience. And it's a very light feeling to have my things gone. I am happy (almost... just give me a few more days).

Revolution

"But this is how the revolution begins: a few of us start chasing our dreams, breaking our old patterns, embracing what we love (and in the process discovering what we hate), daydreaming, questioning, acting outside the boundaries of routine and regularity. Others see us doing this, see people daring to be more creative and more adventurous, more generous and more ambitious than they had imagined possible, and join us one by one. Once enough people enbrace this new way of living, a point of critical mass is finally reached, and society itself begins to change. From that moment, the world will start to undergo a transformation: from the frightening, alien place that it is, into a place ripe with possibility, where our lives are in our own hands and any dream can come true."

Living deliberately- no destinations or borders.

"We're all fed such false messages about success in life, made to believe it's a point of arrival. So most of us spend our whole lives waiting to arrive. We expect that once we get there, the long story of the life we just lived will be infused with meaning. But while we're waiting our voices dry up. They forget how to ask, they forget how to listen, they forget how to tell."

I hope I don't forget how to listen or forget how to tell. I hope I don't get fixated on the destination, the arrival, checking the box, or making other people happy. I hope I can live with an open heart. I hope I see beauty in the world every day. I hope I have time for all people.

"And I go on making small promises to myself in the meanwhile: I will walk every day in between the trees, I will make some celebration, I will love without fear, I will create beautiful things, I will be unafraid to fly, I will move and speak and live deliberately..."

"In the end, the only thing standing between each of us and what we most want, is ourselves. We're our own border guards. And sometimes the crossing is easier than expected."
- from Off the Map.

Moving back to the US is about as much fun as a Cambodian border crossing.

Still jumping through hurdles. Household is planned to ship on Tuesday. After two trips and five hours waiting at the DMV, I got USA license plates on my car- the first time the Mini has had American plates. They are temporary US plates that allow you to drive the car for the first 30 days stateside before you have it registered.

It looks like there is going to be a summer vacation in USA also at the behest of Homeland Security. I've been told that I have to be stateside when my goods hit customs, which means that I am going to be in the US at the end of June for a couple weeks. But that is still in the research stages.

The moving fun continues.. but I comfort myself in that each day it is closer to its end...

Trying to breathe!

(Helga's flowers, and a view from my window.)

I could use a stiff drink. Three days until my things ship and quite a few major things are still up in the air. I can't wait until I can relax again.