Tuesday, October 8, 2013

"life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage."

Rainy day. Coffee and conversation drift through the air. The clank of saucers stacking. Electronic music. The ceiling fan in my side vision. A yellow & blue Trimet bus on Albina. The man next to me leaves with the newspaper and his backpack. He was writing with his left hand in a large unlined notebook. Oatie sleeping on my lap. 

I'm waiting for my mom and Chuck to arrive this evening. The house is ready. My mind is calming. I look up writing workshops. Request library books. My soy latte nearly empty. Searching for houses again. Not the right one yet but getting closer. The girl at the grocery store told me not to give up- keep going. It's wet- the buyers aren't so hungry. Houses sit sadly on the market, prices drifting down. Less anxiety. More civilized. Less frantic. Less impulsive. Thoughtful. Pensive. Like fall. 

Justin bought a Suburu. He's wanted one forever. It's used but new to him. Less miles than my mini. But one year older. We can sleep in the back. It came with a plug-in cooler. And racks and heated seats. He's a cold weather wimp so they will serve as weather therapy. 

I bought a one-way ticket to Iowa. Overnight through Chicago on October 26th. I plan to take a week and a half off. Go trick or treating with my nieces. Hitch a ride back with Justin and see him through the mountains and the snow. He's still green in both areas, having only lived on the east coast. He wanted me to ride with him. At first I thought, he's a big boy, he can do it himself. Then I thought, you can be nice, you know. So why not

After months of working extra days, I can take two off. Besides I like driving the Wyoming to Oregon part. If we could delete Nebraska that would be nice. But not likely. I have a lot of friends from Nebraska who might get upset. So I think that it's perfect. Even though I thought I didn't want to. Drive back that is. We will for the first time, enter Portland together. Enter the west on the ground, a pair, taking a chance on a real life together.

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