The man in the arena

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be wiht those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."

-Theodore Roosevelt, 23/4/1910

(Thank you Ursula, for sharing this with me.)

Midday musing

I’m drunk.
No, half drunk.
In the afternoon.
A half a seasonal dark ale.
6% alcohol.
I’m thinking about taking out a personal ad:
“Cheap date.”
That should be enough to reel ‘em in.
Would it be a wide sweep of society?
Where could I post it?
Should I add that I’m educated?
Or would that be too much information?

Absenteeism

Being lost abroad has it's perks. I'm one of the first Americans to blacken the oval for the first half-black, half-white president. Quite thrilling. I think I'll drop it at the American Embassy in Auckland just to be nosy and check out the place. The last time I set foot in an American Embassy was when I was 20 and Carrie had a flaming red eye in Munich, Germany (in my pre-optometry life). We were looking for a list of English speaking doctors. I remember they had a Coke machine. It was a bit of heaven when we were a little homesick after our rolling suitcase wheels melted off (yes, we were too dumb to have backpacks that time) and we'd spent a few nights spooning under seven wool blankets in "Big Tent". Ahh the days...

Finding

"When someone is seeking, it happens quite easily that he only sees the thing that he is seeking; that he is unable to find anything, unable to absorb anything, because he is only thinking of the thing he is seeking, because he has a goal, because he is obsessed with his goal. Seeking means: to have a goal; but finding means:  to be free, to be receptive, to have no goal."

      -from Siddhartha by Herman Hesse (an amazing and quick read full of life philosophy)

On the narcissism of blogging

I was out having a post-clinic drink with a couple students (actually two good friends of mine) and let it slip that I had a blog.

Both exclaimed (almost in unison), "Blogs are so narcissistic! How self-centered to think that people want to read about your life and your opinions."

I faked an angry glare, scrunched up my face, and pretended I didn't care. But inside I wondered, was I narcissistic? And was blogging by nature narcissistic? It was something I'd worried about before I started writing this thing.  Who wants to sit around and read about what I think and what I do? 

They asked me if I'd read other people's blogs. I said "yes."

"What about people you don't know?"

I said "yes" again.  I said that I'd gotten notes from random people reading my blog also. I started writing this because I like writing and I think it's a good way for friends and family to know that I am functioning fine on the other side of the world. When I started this, I decided that I would be honest and real and if no one wanted to read it, well, I enjoy writing enough that it would be a pleasure to write it completely for myself. 

Back to the initial question though regarding my narcissism... I slept on it. My psyche would not let it go. While I was running (perhaps that 30km day) I thought, "Do you read literature? Do you enjoy films? How different are they from blogs?" Creativity, whether art, literature, music, or otherwise is deeply connected to the creator: their opinions, their life experiences. So by nature, we are all narcissistic. I don't think I'm much worse than any other.