The sky is falling!

A few remnants from yesterday in Kotor:

Reading under the tree behind a church. I was very happy, it was sort of a hidden alley, half fenced off so not a through way for tourists, who are in abundance in this small town.

This morning, I arose early and wandered after a tasty espresso. Seeing this hulking eyesore in the harbor, I thought, "I hope I never have to get on one of those things." I am sorry if that is close-minded, but I think it is probably true.

The sky, black like night at 10AM. I was quite fearful of an unintentional shower, but it never came.

Still, I love the dark foreboding clouds. Sometimes in life it looks like a storm is ahead and you prepare for it, but then it turns out to be a sunny day instead. It doesn't mean that it was a waste to reflect on the darkness. Darkness is what makes the light beautiful too. They work together like that.

Ella Fitzgerald Wednesday

[Moon ray, cast a spell on my lover.]

Barely awake, propped up at my desk. Pretending to be coherent.

I've already seen my first patient, sipped espresso at the bakery, watched people while writing, and now here. Hiding quietly. Feeling like I'm between worlds, at work. It's peaceful. I should be so lucky.

Something about the old recordings, piano lilting. Big band. Crackles interspersed among the sounds.

I've been sleeping like a rock these past two days. This morning, I didn't even know where I was. Then remembered, Germany. That's a good sleep.

Today the cows were lounging on the side of the road in the grass next to the river with steam rising. I pass the river each day on the way into work, a part of my day that'll be forever etched in my memory. Bavarian countryside, waking up.

Just like me right now.

[Stars shining bright above you. Night breezes seem to whisper, "I love you". Birds singing in the sycamore tree. Dream a little dream of me.]

Welcoming Darkness

Winter looming, dark thoughts invade,
worming in, intent on plunging you
into that seasonal anxiety.
Oh god, winter. Dark, black, death, cold.
There's no way to fend off the impending bleak days.

Yet, in this change of seasons comes
the search for external warmth.
Someone to crawl into
on a starry extended night.
Heavy blankets which insist
you into a sleep coma.
[It's not like you could roll over under all that weight anyway.]

When else are showers transcendent experiences?
Scalding water, testing your heat tolerance,
rolling off your lashes, dripping over your lips,
sliding along your body.
Steaming your core into submission.

This is going to be good, winter.

Why, it's an excuse to notch down,
hunker in silence
and trailing thoughts.
Letting peace and quiet have its way with you.

Darkness

"There is light enough for those who wish to see," wrote French philosopher Blaise Pascal, "and darkness enough for those of the opposite disposition."


I'm sitting here in the darkness of my office listening to the darkness of Radiohead, between patients. The windowshade's drawn. I've often wondered why I ended up in optometry, a field which is spent in the dark, when I like the light so much. When I think of professions in the dark, I think photography, which is much more on the creative bent than optometry. I bet most people wouldn't see the darkness in optometry. I do.

Darkness starts to drop down when I'm leaving the clinic at 4:30 or 5:00. It shocked me at first. I had to find out the latitude of Vilseck. Minot was at 48.22°N, Portland 45°31′12″N and Vilseck 49°36'36"N. Auckland was 36°52'S.

It's the furthest from the Equator I've lived. The furthest North. The longest darkness I've experienced and we're not yet to the shortest days. I noticed it a few weeks ago. At first, I found it disturbing- how could the days be this short already? Days are still shortening.

But darkness brings comfort. Peace. Solitude. Reflection.

It's the time of year to embrace the darkness. To see life with a shadowy light and peer out with half-closed eyes.