Letting go

Today I ran into this quote from a NYT article, “I am happy you are in my life, happy knowing you are having a wonderful adventure, happy you will be returning to me. How can I be any happier? I am not worried about taking a leap of faith with you.” Which was a take on, "If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they’re yours; if they don’t they never were."

I'm lying in bed with Oatie curled up next to me. The fan buzzing, curtains catching the breeze. It was cooler today than the last couple days so the fan will suffice. I slept like a rock last night only after I turned off the noisy a/c window unit. I still hate a/c. The way the air is parched. My nose inside all dried out. The rattle of a window unit, like an old man's sputtering cough. The idea that we are supposed to adapt to the weather not try to mold it to our exact comfort.

Last night I dropped Justin off at the airport for his 10:30 red-eye to Norfolk via Atlanta. Both of us ended up crying at the airport saying goodbye, while people of all ages walked by smiling at us. Somehow that made me feel better- that there was kindness in the world. It's not like we didn't know this was going to happen. Or that I didn't want him to go. I know he needs to go and tie up loose ends and see what life is like back out there again after being out here for five months. It actually feels good to feel sad. To miss someone. To ache when he he leaves. 

I filled my day with activities, meeting an old friend for coffee at eight this morning, arriving on bike with Oatie in the basket. Checking in with Kaiser. Grocery shopping. Yard work. Bike chain cleaning and lubing. Washing and hanging clothes to dry. The day was full and quiet and peaceful and I enjoyed myself.