Friday Morning

"You must understand the whole of life, not just one little part of it. That is why you must read, that is why you must look at the skies, that is why you must sing and dance, and write poems and suffer and understand, for all that is life." -Jiddu Krishnamurti 

Sunshine sneaks through the bamboo shades, lighting our covers as he sleeps next to me. I wake up wondering where I am again. And what I am doing. Life in slow motion. Leaden heart, wet eyes. Trying to make sense of it all. 

I let the dog out. He prances in the sunshine while I heat water on the stove for morning tea. It's been more than a week since I gave up coffee. One less thing to do every day. My skin thanks me for it. The tautness has disappeared. Every year I tolerate less caffeine, and thought why not drop it. I'll still have it once in a while but not every day. I don't even miss it.

There's a scratch on the door and Bailey is back. Still in his red Christmas bow from Kathy, which is now a Valentine's bow. I measure out his breakfast. It's before 7AM.

It's over a year since we were first in contact. And just under a year since we first met. January 15th. I wonder what I would be doing here in one or two years. I can't see anything right now. The future is so smeary. 

Living life is about being here each day. Experiences. Loving. Suffering. I trod forward somewhere into the unknown.