My chin scar started fluttering a few days ago. Not the whole chin, just the scar. Yes. Maybe it’s healing. Why now? Twitch, twitch. An hourly reminder of my trip over the handlebars almost four years ago. I like the idea that it’s healing. Maybe I'll wake up and there won’t be a dent in my chin anymore and it’ll all be the same color again. No more daily application of cover up.
Tonight on the couch, I was writing in my journal after dinner (which consisted of mung beans, coleslaw and peanut butter, not all together, those were the three courses). I thought maybe it’s not healing. Maybe it’s telling me to be careful. Of distractions. Of rushing. Of trying to do to many things at once. Pay attention. Focus. Have fun, but don’t lose sight of what you are doing. Don’t be hurrying down that hill. Just enjoy the ride. If you’re late and get into the next wave it’s just fine.
That’s what the chin is saying. And it’s healing too.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Friday, June 27, 2008
Couch Contemplations
We drove to the airport in sheets of rain, Molly, Josh and I. They disappeared through security. I walked back to the carpark and navigated the roads back to my attic hideaway. I didn’t know how I’d feel once I got home.
Today we’d ventured around Auckland in the Mazda, trying to miss the intermittent downpours. (We were mostly successful.) We’d gotten up early to see Sam at Kokako Coffee shop, and then dropped in on the Aotearoa Square market in downtown Auckland, something akin to Portland Saturday Market only on a much smaller scale. I bought a handmade green dress or long shirt, depending how adventurous I’m feeling on a particular day. Molly found an aqua blue shiny skirt. We both came home with bubbly glass pendants purchased from the husband of the artist, mine in nutmeg and Molly’s in slate blue.
Josh wanted to see the boats in the harbour, so we drove there and then stopped over in Devonport, where we visited a few art galleries and had lunch at the Brick Oven Bakery. Lastly, up to Mt Eden, the volcano with the best city views, then back home to rest before they flew out.
Our final dinner was at Thai Friends on Parnell Road. Molly and Josh had happened upon it on their own for lunch while I was in clinic, and it’s probably my favorite place in Auckland to eat. Funny how the stars send you places. I understand why they keep winning Thai Restaurant of the year in Auckland. After dinner, we headed to the airport.
This brings me full circle. I’m sitting here on my couch in silence, other than the whirling wind outside, rain hitting the pavement and an occasional car. I’m not lonely. I’m not sad.
Today in the art gallery, we were talking to one of the artists working there and she asked if having them visit made me want to go home. I said, “No.” I think she said something like, “Oh that’s real nice!” Laughing. But I explained, “I’m happy here. I’m happy where I’m at.” I am. I like Auckland. I like being here. I like being. I like my life.
It’s been an interesting seven months. Going to the airport surfaced some thoughts about the next adventure. And I really don’t know. Five months is not all that far away to start planning. I feel a little like I want to fly by the seat of my pants. I guess that’s what I’m doing anyway.
I didn’t know what to expect from this year. Living abroad has made me feel it’s less urgent to get home and resume my life there. I feel like I’m coming into so much awareness of the world in all ways. If I returned now, I’d be giving up a lot of opportunities.
Today we’d ventured around Auckland in the Mazda, trying to miss the intermittent downpours. (We were mostly successful.) We’d gotten up early to see Sam at Kokako Coffee shop, and then dropped in on the Aotearoa Square market in downtown Auckland, something akin to Portland Saturday Market only on a much smaller scale. I bought a handmade green dress or long shirt, depending how adventurous I’m feeling on a particular day. Molly found an aqua blue shiny skirt. We both came home with bubbly glass pendants purchased from the husband of the artist, mine in nutmeg and Molly’s in slate blue.
Josh wanted to see the boats in the harbour, so we drove there and then stopped over in Devonport, where we visited a few art galleries and had lunch at the Brick Oven Bakery. Lastly, up to Mt Eden, the volcano with the best city views, then back home to rest before they flew out.
Our final dinner was at Thai Friends on Parnell Road. Molly and Josh had happened upon it on their own for lunch while I was in clinic, and it’s probably my favorite place in Auckland to eat. Funny how the stars send you places. I understand why they keep winning Thai Restaurant of the year in Auckland. After dinner, we headed to the airport.
This brings me full circle. I’m sitting here on my couch in silence, other than the whirling wind outside, rain hitting the pavement and an occasional car. I’m not lonely. I’m not sad.
Today in the art gallery, we were talking to one of the artists working there and she asked if having them visit made me want to go home. I said, “No.” I think she said something like, “Oh that’s real nice!” Laughing. But I explained, “I’m happy here. I’m happy where I’m at.” I am. I like Auckland. I like being here. I like being. I like my life.
It’s been an interesting seven months. Going to the airport surfaced some thoughts about the next adventure. And I really don’t know. Five months is not all that far away to start planning. I feel a little like I want to fly by the seat of my pants. I guess that’s what I’m doing anyway.
I didn’t know what to expect from this year. Living abroad has made me feel it’s less urgent to get home and resume my life there. I feel like I’m coming into so much awareness of the world in all ways. If I returned now, I’d be giving up a lot of opportunities.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Roadtripping with Molly and Josh
I returned to Auckland Monday morning at 6:30AM on the Intercity bus from Wellington, ran six blocks to catch the Link bus home in time to shower and get to work by 8:30AM. I'd left my car with Molly and Josh and decided I would go the environmentally friendly route of the overnight bus rather than flying. My conscious was clear and I slept even more than I would have had I been at home in my own bed. I'd planned to read, reflect, journal and listen to music. Instead I started to drool sitting up within an hour of take-off.
So backpedalling here...
Our first day out of Auckland was last Thursday. We drove down the center of the north island on motorway 1, seeing everything there was to see, on the clearest day we've had in months. I was mesmerised- one minute, we'd be in rolling countryside, then desert landscape, then a massive lake. The red station wagon with its ghetto (literally) blaster stereo kept us moving right along, even better when the ipod was rigged up. We stopped in various towns and overnighted in Wanganui before rolling into Wellington on Friday afternoon.
Wellington was lovely. Architecturally stimulating. Compact and walkable. People with dreads. Street musicians. Bookstores selling zines and alternative lit. It was a touch of Portland in New Zealand, (if Portland were only about 3 blocks long!) I'll definitely return.
Molly and Josh took the ferry to the south island and I hung out in Welly for another 6 hours. Toward the end of the day, when I felt I couldn't walk anymore, I talked myself into hiking up the hill to Old St. Paul's Cathedral, a wooden church that's no longer used- just a historical site. They were going to bulldoze it actually. I got inside and no one was there. Classical music played overhead and I just sat in the pew and listened and rested for about a half hour. I signed the guest book, then I flipped through and found "Shanta Schriever & Brian Starns, Portland, OR" on May 8th. I've started to think signing guestbooks is a record of my trails on this earth. (In case anyone should ever decide to research my life. Ha.) After my meditative experience, I emerged into the city, looking forward to my busride home.
So backpedalling here...
Our first day out of Auckland was last Thursday. We drove down the center of the north island on motorway 1, seeing everything there was to see, on the clearest day we've had in months. I was mesmerised- one minute, we'd be in rolling countryside, then desert landscape, then a massive lake. The red station wagon with its ghetto (literally) blaster stereo kept us moving right along, even better when the ipod was rigged up. We stopped in various towns and overnighted in Wanganui before rolling into Wellington on Friday afternoon.
Wellington was lovely. Architecturally stimulating. Compact and walkable. People with dreads. Street musicians. Bookstores selling zines and alternative lit. It was a touch of Portland in New Zealand, (if Portland were only about 3 blocks long!) I'll definitely return.
Molly and Josh took the ferry to the south island and I hung out in Welly for another 6 hours. Toward the end of the day, when I felt I couldn't walk anymore, I talked myself into hiking up the hill to Old St. Paul's Cathedral, a wooden church that's no longer used- just a historical site. They were going to bulldoze it actually. I got inside and no one was there. Classical music played overhead and I just sat in the pew and listened and rested for about a half hour. I signed the guest book, then I flipped through and found "Shanta Schriever & Brian Starns, Portland, OR" on May 8th. I've started to think signing guestbooks is a record of my trails on this earth. (In case anyone should ever decide to research my life. Ha.) After my meditative experience, I emerged into the city, looking forward to my busride home.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
I believe in magic
"Watch
with glittering eyes
the whole world around you
because the greatest secrets
are always hidden
in the most unlikely places.
Those who don't believe
in magic
will never find it."
-Roald Dahl
with glittering eyes
the whole world around you
because the greatest secrets
are always hidden
in the most unlikely places.
Those who don't believe
in magic
will never find it."
-Roald Dahl
Saturday, June 21, 2008
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