U-turn!

[Enroute to Auckland after a quick turn-around in the bay of islands.]

It was just too crummy of weather for rest and relaxation. Besides that, I know that I'll be an Auntie for the first time in not too many days. The time is right to go home. Thank goodness that Air Pacific lets you book flights at the last minute for cheap.

We’re pulling back into Auckland… probably the last time I will see the skyline from this side of town. Soon we’ll be crossing over the harbour bridge. It’s a beautiful city. The things I’ve learned this year! If I had to make a list it could stretch forever.

Mostly I’ve learned to be more open-minded, more patient, more trusting. People everywhere have surprised me with their kindness and love. I’ve done things I wouldn’t have thought I'd do. I’ve realized how useless passing judgment on others is. (Not that it’s easy to understand other people all the time, but at least give them the benefit of the doubt. )

Boats in the harbour. The sky tower popping up behind them. Fluffy clouds with a deep purple base. Sky the color of my bedroom in Portland. Ships and more ships. I’ve never seen so many in my life. We’re sailing into town on the Intercity bus- something that’s marked my days and travels in NZ. I still love the peace and the whirr of the bus shifting gears, humming along. Passengers shuffle belongings but it’s still serene in here. And as I stare out the window, it’s the closest thing to church and meditation as I'll get here in Auckland.

Two more days and I will fly off, forever perhaps, or not. Life doesn’t tell you the story line ahead of time. You just have to follow it as it goes along and see where you end up.

Rethinking things

I was welcomed to the Bay of Islands with two solid days of rain, grey skies and a forecast that's not going to let up on either of those. The hostel that I've arranged to work at isn't quite the experience that Oamaru was.

Janine, a Vancouver, BC-ite, checked me in and showed me our room, which is located off the back of the office hallway. I think it used to be the office, as it's smaller than any bedroom I've ever had and still has four bunks in it, as well as a shelf and small fridge. I wasn't sure where to put my backpack, so I wedged it next to the bed. After a tour, I went for a walk through the town, all two streets. It's a relative ghosttown and no wonder with this weather. I'd envisioned walks and reading and writing, but I doubt I'll be having any of that.

I returned home and settled into my bunk, deciding that it was easier to sleep in my clothes than drag out the nightgown and try to figure out how to get changed in there. This is going to sound like I'm a total paranoid now, but I was mildly claustrophobic in the room. I thought, "What if there was a fire?" Then I realised the window opened. The bunks are jammed into such a small room that the top bunks are about three feet from the ceiling, so it's not like I can sit up in bed. Also I am too big for the bed and my feet hang off. (I'm not even that large, c'mon now!) And finally, I woke up with the worst backache I've had in a very long time.

So I got up early and tiptoed out of the bedroom after being told over and over that the owner is very particular. "Don't slam the door to the office." "Walk quietly up the stairs" "He likes the towels folded a certain way." "It's easier to just do things his way." Etc, etc. I was not too keen to meet someone who is so controlling and anal. I have yet to see what I would consider a genuine smile on this guy's face.

The combination of the weather and the rigid, suffocating atmosphere of this hostel has made me rethink my plans once again. I've put tickets on hold to return to the states via Fiji on Friday. I'd have eight days in Fiji and be back in LAX on the 24th of May. Guess I will let you know if I actually buy those tickets tomorrow. Sometimes plans change.

I don't have any photos to publish as there were none worth taking. Heh, heh.

Post Grad

Fuzzy-headed, layered in as much clothing as I can without losing credibility and smelling faintly of cigar smoke, I'm parked on a hall chair in the backpackers whiling away a couple hours before I catch my bus up to the Bay of Islands.

I'd like to say I woke up this morning with all the answers swirling around in my head. But instead, I woke up and wondered, "Where am I?" and "What am I doing?" Perhaps the after effects of alcohol and two hours of sleep.

I've scheduled a few weeks of rest and regeneration in the north part of New Zealand before I set off on the next stage, which continues to remain elusive. I wallow back and forth between returning home and continuing on.

The idea of a full time job scares me, if I am to be perfectly honest. I've spent six months doing whatever I want for 24 hours a day. It's not surprising that I'm reluctant about rejoining the leagues of the working man.

But precisely that freedom is what will make me go back. The reasons I slept two hours are two. One is my own fault- I stayed out ridiculously too late (McDonalds changed their signs to the breakfast menu right when we arrived). The other is I have to be out of my backpackers 10:00AM. This is standard. So if one went to bed when the sun was coming up, that one idiot is not getting much shuteye.

Circular thinking is getting me nowhere. But it's about time to catch the bus now. So I've accomplished my feat of killing time and figuring out the answers in the game of life. There are none. And I will enjoy each day as it comes. How often do I get to feel like this?

Graduation Eve

I'm a jumble of emotions, sitting in my black nightie and creme cable sweater in the lounge of my hostel, surrounded by six other backpackers who are reading or speaking German. Sheryl Crow's on the radio. It's soothing music, but I cannot be soothed. It's not anything specific, just a series of slips that are collectively leaving me feeling out of control.

Do I need to go home? What is home anyway?

Herman Hesse says, "One never reaches home, but wherever friendly paths intersect, the whole world looks like home for a while."

The whole world has looked like home for a while. But is it time for my roots to be under my feet and my family at my side?

I'm still thinking of that prediction, "You're trying to look relaxed even though you have one foot on a dock and one foot on a boat as the boat pulls away. It seems likely that any minute now you'll have to commit yourself to either the dock, the boat, or the water." It really does feel that way.

Which way do I go? When does life ever calm down? Who knows all the answers?

Dunedin, the depressing land of weird optometrists

Mayhap it looks ok as I start my picture collage of Dunedin. The first item of interest is a church in the main square of town called the Octagon on the only day that there was any decent light. I've been bundled in 4-5 layers the entire time I've been here and still my back stays cold. It doesn't help that it's gushing down rain intermittently and buildings have no insulation or heating.

Dunedin was touted as a cafe culture town with 20,000 students roaming its streets. I expected to find philosophy-entrenched coffee shops where I'd while away my final days in the south island before heading off to the rollercoaster ride that Auckland is.

Instead, I've arrived to find shop after shop closed- out of business or just not open, Friday night with nary a soul in sight and a papable lack of philosophy. Oh well. It is a good way to jump off the south island, as I'll be leaving at the buttcrack of dawn tomorrow- 7:20AM. No wonder that flight was so cheap.

Inside the Dunedin Railway station. Beauty of a building.

Right next door to the fourth generation optometrist...

Peter Dick. Yes. FOURTH generation. And the girl who I am couch surfing with, Hannah, wrote the last radio ads for this special man. Go for the optom profession!

Finally, here's two girls who I passed going the opposite direction on the Raikura Track on Stewart Island. Wanda (dark hair) is from Chicago and Alexandra (blonde) is from Boston. We ran into each other in Invercargill and again in Dunedin. Ended up about 4-5 days together and leaving with plans to meet again at Burning Man in Nevada at the end of August.