"You are not in the world;
the world is in you."
-Deepak Chopra

Why some teachers last only a year?

I've decided this teaching thing is really hard. Even just supervising in clinic. It sounds easy. I can tell myself, it's like having highly trained technicians do the whole exam and then you just have to sign off on it. But no. That's not the case. I have to think through the whole exam and figure out the missing pieces and then try to help the student understand so they don't make the same mistake next time.

Sometimes they get it; sometimes they think I'm an idiot. Sometimes I think I'm an idiot! No one knows all the answers and unfortunately rarely is anything black and white. In this setting, students want black and white answers. I don't have them.

There are the students who are really keen, who can be a joy, but also require extra effort because they want to learn. There are the ones who don't want to be here in the first place, let alone do anything over and above. It's hard to care about teaching a blank face.

At the end of the day, I often leave feeling anxious, and also like my energy has been sucked out of me. After 8-9 hours of students milling about with charts and questions, needing signatures, asking advice on case presentations, I just want to go home to bed. Yes, even if it is 6:30.

To you teachers out there, I salute you. It's a tough job. Regardless of the amount of appreciation the students show, the energy drain is in a negative direction. I imagine it's a little like having children. Rewarding and very tough. Only hopefully I'd have a little more incentive to stick around.

Leadership is solving problems.

The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day
you have stopped leading them.

They have either lost confidence that you can help
or concluded you do not care.

Either case is a failure of leadership. ~Colin Powell

Kurt Vonnegut says...

"Listen: we are here on earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different!"

That is all for now. Oh had another fire drill today.

More from the Tao

Fill your bowl to the brim
and it will spill.
Keep sharpening your knife
and it will blunt.
Chase after money and security
and your heart will never unclench.
Care about people's approval
and you will be their prisoner.

Do your work, then step back.
The only path to serenity.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

True words aren't eloquent;
eloquent words aren't true.
Wise men don't need to prove their point;
men who need to prove their point aren't wise.

The Master has no possessions.
The more he does for others,
the happier he is.
The more he gives to others,
the wealthier he is.

The Tao nourishes by not forcing.
By not dominating, the Master leads.

Fear

“All of us were imprinted one of two ways:
either the world is dangerous with moments of safety,
or the world is safe with moments of danger.”
-Deepak Chopra

Fortunately, I was raised to believe the world is safe and full of good people. My experiences have mostly confirmed that. Unless I am trying to figure out my life!

Tonight, I've been researching Asia, airfares, volunteering, ashrams, train tickets, budgets, etc. November seems to be coming like freight train without brakes! I'm almost paralyzed with options. It's funny when I start to look things up, I get completely lost. I've planned loads of short term trips... but nothing like this.

My gut is saying buy a one way ticket to SE Asia and see where you go from there. Maybe return to India, maybe Western Australia. Maybe parts of Africa or South America? Or Eastern Europe? Without a particular agenda in mind, it's a little overwhelming. There's RTW airfares, but I don't know how much they will save me or if they will just complicate matters for someone who wishes to fly by the seat of her pants, wherever my Mary Poppins umbrella carries me...

Lord.

I'm going to bed.